I finally removed from my friends list a train wreck of a LJ.
I know I was supposed to try, to retrieve what was lost.
but not when she's walked RIGHT back into a host of nastiness, with her eyes wide open. And wants to be friends. And had so much to say about how wrong she was, when she KNOWS she wasn't wrong. Amazing what happens when your mind is not your own. Oh, and when you're "rid' of the people who cared about you and made it "impossible" to be friends with these other people. Oh, and how odd it is that NOW I'm weak and insecure, when before I was strong and sure of myself. Weird how that happens.
OK, That's it. I'm through trying, and I'm through worrying about it. I'll grieve for my lost friend, but she's destroying herself, and has pretty much cast me out. At least, that's how I feel. I feel like I've betrayed her, but how can I continue to fight her, when she has so many rotten apples telling her how I suck? *shudder* I can't fathom walking into a den of vipers eyes wide open?
I know I was supposed to try, to retrieve what was lost.
but not when she's walked RIGHT back into a host of nastiness, with her eyes wide open. And wants to be friends. And had so much to say about how wrong she was, when she KNOWS she wasn't wrong. Amazing what happens when your mind is not your own. Oh, and when you're "rid' of the people who cared about you and made it "impossible" to be friends with these other people. Oh, and how odd it is that NOW I'm weak and insecure, when before I was strong and sure of myself. Weird how that happens.
OK, That's it. I'm through trying, and I'm through worrying about it. I'll grieve for my lost friend, but she's destroying herself, and has pretty much cast me out. At least, that's how I feel. I feel like I've betrayed her, but how can I continue to fight her, when she has so many rotten apples telling her how I suck? *shudder* I can't fathom walking into a den of vipers eyes wide open?
no subject
I hate to say it, but this is primarily why I failed to care about getting back into goth circles. I went to Manray a lot five years ago, and for a short time was a new, pretty thing. And then I got to know Bratling, and got embroiled in the whole Clusterfuck culture . . . at least, the culture that existed at the time . . . but after a while, it held little for me except for a few old friends who I hardly see anymore.
*nods* Sounds familiar
Date: 2001-08-12 12:16 pm (UTC)My problem stems from the fact that they dumped on these two, and have NOT changed, and they're walking right back in to be fucked over, while people like me, who have been loyal and honest are being called names and shunted to the side becuase we don't agree with their opinions, and will NOT take it anymore.
It's strange that I'm being called weak and a sheep. Do I LOOK like a sheep to you? *evil grin*
*hugs* thanks for the support. We still need to get together, and I'm sorry you couldn't make it out Friday, but it sounds like you had a time anyway.
*grin*
Re: *nods* Sounds familiar
no subject
Date: 2001-08-14 07:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-08-14 10:01 pm (UTC)I also won't get into a discussion about what true friends should or should not do.
I know that I have had my own difficulties in goth circles, as have a number of people in a number of circles. It doesn't say more or less than anything else anyone else professes about their personal experience.