Stage 2: Anger

Oh yeah, I'm angry.
Went from serious "down in the dumps" to "pissed off."
I really process things in my sleep. I didn't realize how angry I was until I started thinking in the shower.
it's leaking, to others. I'm trying not to be angry at everyone, but it's not easy. I'm probably avoiding people for a bit, so I don't snap in the wrong direction.
I mean I know it's not rational for thinking about someone and thinking "They suck since they don't know what's going on and won't get involved!" I have two sides, rational and irrational. Just because I vocalize the irrational, doesn't mean the rational doesn't rule in the end. I know it isn't rational how I'm feeling, I'm trying to work through it. And at the anger stage, it has to be alone.

I'm driving to the Cape today, eventually. I'm going to call her first just to make sure she's there. I'm hoping her silly husband has gone golfing, so she can actually get some work done.

I've just pulled a Bender - from the episode where he flushes Nibbler down the toilet, and they put a chip in him to make him feel what Leela feels? I just made myself feel bad. I really should just get to work. Happy I'm not seeing the perky client til alter this week. Maybe I can handle them then.

I miss Lou.

*sighs*

I REALLY miss Lou.
It wasn't so bad having him in Georgia, although he hated it. It wasn't even so bad when he'd disappear, since I could write, and he wasn't in Iraq with a big target painted on his chest, and a giant "HEY I'm here SHOOT ME!" sign; he was off doing naughty Ranger things. But, as I've learned from having J in England, thanks to the way things are set up here, I can't just pick up the phone and call him in Italy. it's driving me crazy. He ALWAYS puts things into perspective, and doesn't judge, and makes me feel better no matter HOW wrong I am. Not being able to talk to him is like missing an arm. No email, no calls, nothing, thanks to how things are setup on both our ends. And it's not like I Can talk to him the way I used to. I haven't been able to get used to him as "attached" and there's things I can't say, or times I can't call, because I was used to it the other way.

Bah. I have to get to work. Although speaking of calling, I need to call J. Hopefully I won't interrupt him, but *shrugs* timing isn't my strong point this week.

I'm not meaning to be whiney today

And I'm sure I'm not doing anyone any good.
but I need to put this where I can see it.

SAY NO TO BAD COFFEE!

This is the LAST TIME I'm stopping at the crappy D&D's near the office. I HAVE to go to the one near my house, I don't care HOW long it takes. This coffee SUCKED. I even asked for more ice, and you know you NEVER ask for more ice, since there's usually too much ice. It was lukewarm, so I got more ice, there's barely any sugar, the coffee is too strong (which for me means battery acid) and I think the cream is bad.

The bagel, I needed something to eat, was perfect.

*KICKS the stupid coffee*
Next time I'm just getting a Jolt.

Back to work.

(no subject)

Goddess bless my boss.
Who has an addiction to kettle corn popcorn,
and went to the store for it.
And brought me a Coke.

AHHHHHHH!
Blessed caffiene, and corn syrup.
TAKE THAT, ye heathen nasty coffee.

Now, if she'd just pay me for last month, so I can pay the pesky beginning of the month bills, I'll love her forever.

And I'm stopping for caffiene on the way home. I'm not doing well without it. Now, when I'm down, is not the time to quit cold turkey.