weird

the moods I get into.
I took today pretty lazy. Chatting on AIM with emarkienna whom I missed dreadfully during my captivity, and kanine briefly, and darkfay13 for a bit. Made it Filene's for my undie needs, which was annoying at best. I'll never go shopping in a mall on a Saturday night again, no matter what I need. And the Hot topic, feels lax somehow, it was missing some life, I think. I really want to go down to Torrid. One of the crappy things about Filene's was all the prom dresses. Now, it's mostly the little girls running everywhere , in little tanktops and tight jeans, but it's also how pretty they are, and not ONE approximated my size. If I was to ask, I'd get looked at like I was an idiot, then I'd MAYBE find the old lady dresses. Normally this doesn't bother me, but I might have to hunt for a new dress for the wedding, and this won't make my life any easier. I barely found the right dress for Joanne's wedding. This time I need something particular, and if I can't get this other one fixed, I have to find something that fits on the first shot. I need to go by the nice Korean lady's shop and see when she's next open. I hope she has enough time and can fix the dress right. I paid so little for it, even if it costs me $50 to fix, it'll be worth it.

Also got all my DVD's catalogued and put all in the same place, in a general alphabetic style. I say general since I grouped all anime/animation together, leaving Escaflowne out for me to be able to look at. I need to pick up a DVD or two to finish off that set (which I'm thinking of just bucking up and ordering from DVD Planet now, I have a $10 coupon to use by today.)

Have done a lot cataloging and ripping the CDs. I'm almost done shelf # 1, and I'm going to try and do 10 CD's a day, til its done. I think after ripping I want to sell some of the CD's. I never listen to Anthrax anymore (what's currently ripping) but you never know, but NOW I can keep them on the Computer. Although I really need a new-ish drive for all this stuff. I fear putting anything else in this box - I'd need "professional" help for it. I'm out of power plugs in there. Of course, if I buy a better CD burner, and take out the two that are in there....... Hmm food for thought.

Did a lot of thinking today. Really just want to hang out with one or two people at a time, but I'm not ready to go OUT to do that. I'd be happy to have people over. I want to clean, even tho I did not much today *grins* and I don't feel like loitering outside. That's getting less and less each day tho. Maybe if I can get some things done this week, with my mother at work, I'll feel more up to going out at night. I do have a social activity or two I must get involved in.

- Tomorrow - clean and organize. Goal for the day - some laundry, especially sheets, and the second set still wrapped up from when I bought them (bought two sets. they need washing before use, I've been washing and reusing the same ones, but I think I'm going to start alternating so laundry doesn't need to be done as often I also want a purple set of sheets, and a solid black dust ruffle for the bed) Also for the day - clean off vanity, dig out the storage bins with the knick knacks in them and put some of the stuff in until I get the room cleaned. Some of it will come back out for decor.

- Monday - Client at 5, I'll probably do some paperwork, and maybe make a run to the storage unit if I find my other set of keys. Hopefully, sushi with Howie.

- Tuesday - 2 normal clients. I should see D. I haven't yet, and we need to discuss vacations. I was thinking about going to Haven, but I think I'm going to wait a week. I think I want to get the safety items done at Saturn sometime this week too. Prior to driving out to Haven.

- Wednesday - Cleaning, hopefully some major progress, removal of things to the Storage unit, cleaning off of my desk, organizing things into the storage boxes, so I know where to find them when I rearrange. Definitely ManRay, although I don't know what to wear. I might take a needle to my corset, make an attempt to fix it.

- Thursday & Friday - Dunno, I haven't planned that far. I should call one of my clients and get out there to do a Bank rec. Lou is due home on Friday, but it's not like I'll actually get to see him *grumble*

Oh, I have to find some gloves. The ones I have are fine for ManRay, not for the wedding.

I really wanted to go for a drive tonight. Down to the beach, but I didn't want to do it alone. *shrugs* I'll survive, and I'm starting to yawn anyway.

i really want to get this stuff done - I wonder if I'll be able to feel "social" without doing at least SOME of it, you know?

Ok, I'm off for a quick ride, I find myself wanting a milkshake *grins* and maybe my favorite donuts. Heee - is it any wonder I don't fit into any of my clothes? I had that Quizno's sub I wanted for dinner, it was HUGE, and I'm not even remotely hungry. Tomorrow, I want to breech the stupidmarket, and get some stir fry goodies. Maybe it'll try and sleep soon, and get up early. Maybe.

*sighs*

I feel like a big fat failure.
I know it hasn't even been a week since the end of the Season, but there's a part of me that thinks I should be shirking all responsibility and throwing myself back into my social life as a way to unwind. I should be out there, raising havok, going out every night of the week, going to every social thing I'm invited to, and some I'm not.

And when I think about doing it, I'm just - tired. I have no desire to do anything, but move slowly. To set slow goals for myself. CDs yesterday, DVDs todays, vanity tomorrow. Maybe sometime next year everything will be moved around. Then there's my own work, and I'm wondering just how long I'm going to go without phone calls from clients about "Now the season is over, when are you coming in?" I don't mind what I've planned for, I don't mind my weekly clients, who are accommodating me about the wedding. And then there's the wedding itself.

*shrug* I feel still off balance and out of sorts. And not ready to deal with people, en masse. But what I do need to do is pick a couple of days to see some people. I'm not staying in next weekend. Definitely not Saturday day - not after today.

OK tomorrow won't be like this. I have my self assigned projects, and I think I'm going to add one - to go to Microcenter and pick up a new CD burner. they have one that's also a DVD drive, but I'm not sure if I want to bother with that. I mean, I want a DVD Burner, not just a drive. *shrugs* I'm unwilling to spend the money on a combo drive. There was another one that had the same burn time, but ripped even faster. Plus, I refound my Simpon's game, and remember I need a new sound and/or video card (I can't remember which, I'll have to pop the thing in and check) And I'm going to look on their "slightly used" table for better deals. I'm hoping to get a bigger HD, a sound/video card, and the burner for a decent price. I don't want to spend TONS of money, but I do want to improve some things, before I have to spend al my money on the car and other things.

bedtime. I refuse to feel this way tomorrow. First step - getting back out. Second - finding a new person to appreciate me for me, so I don't have to rely on the stupid boys I've been relying on. I need a distraction. (This is no way means my pet - I already told him any ranting didn't mean him. If he were here or I there, things would be VERY different.)

Dude, oops

way overslept, although I doo feel better for the sleeping. And I didn't set an alarm, so I suppose I'm unsurprised. I'm going to hop in the shower, as I feel icky, throw on something "cheery" to wear out in the apparent warmth, and head into Cambridge for the computer parts I want. Later I should probably open some windows. I sweltered last night, woke up once or twice in a puddle. I still need to do laundry, but Sundays aren't easy for that. I'd like to get a corner cleaned out, along with the vanity. Then, later I should step away from this thing, and work on my needlepoint or something. After the UNit gets home and I'm sealed in the room. Maybe I should call D and see her tonight.

I'm swinging back and forth on the idea of Haven. My desire to go, is, well, less. I don't even want to go into it. I'm good with the idea of going out gothing, but not driving all the way out there, just to get potentially bent out of shape. I'm not ready for that. I have desires to go out to clubs, where I can be alone among people. Hmmm, maybe I should go out to Club Hell tonight - tomorrow is a "holiday" maybe Chris and Lettie might want to go out with me. Hmmmmmm. I don't want to take D tho. She'll pout way too much.

Heh. OK if I'm actually going to move this plan, I have to get moving. More disjointed thoughts later.

OMG

SO NOT going to Club Hell tonight!
More Drama Than I Need!

Besides, I have a good and a bad:
Good in that I have stuff to install in my computer
Bad in that my reactions to people SUCK I mouthed off to everyone who remotely pissed me off, and little things got to me hard. Stupid driving tricks, idiots in the stupidmarket, too many CHILDREN running around, too many yuppie couples out for shopping. And I didn't even go into Trader Joe's, this was at Stop and Shop! The kicker, was me in the self service line, and the yuppie couple literally BREATHING down my neck. it was disturbing - I felt the woman's eyes in my back, evaluating everything I was putting through. Then, as I was trying to bag, they were poised, GLARING at me waiting for me to finish. I apologized to the husband for being in his way. As in "*Glare* EXCCCUUUSEEE ME for being in your way, asshole." Yes, I did say that. To him.

So, I think I'm going to make myself a nice fresh sandwich,maybe some soup. Then look at the pieces I bought for my computer. I for a new burner, to replace the two CD drives I have. They lost a pretty decent sale after hearing one of the guys bitch about "stupid people" who move around the merchandise. This was over some refurbished sale hard drives. All the same brand, all packaged in clear packs, all in different spots, none clearly labeled. I happened to have one in my hand, trying to figureout which kind it was. Turns out it wasn't even the one that was labelled by sale stickers, it's one I don't think is for my tower. After hearing how much customers, meaning me, suck, I put it down, and figured I can call my geek army, and see if anyone has a hard drive for me, or I save up and watch for a sale. I did get a new video card, I was going to get a closeout one, one that had been returned, but for $10 more I got double the MB, and a brand new one. Then I was naughty and found the first Family Guy box set, and finally got myself a new Norton's suite, I have a bad feeling, I figure I'd better go with it.

Now I'm not even sure I CAN put another hard drive in here. I have the room for it, but I don't know if it can handle the additional power demand. Maybe a new power supply might be in order. I think I can power up the box I have without replacing too much. Maybe His Bitchiness can help, if he isn't too busy banging some stupid chick *grumble*

So maybe I'll go for a drive later. I'm wondering who might have some time off, and who doesn't. *shrugs*

The peppercorn turkey is calling my name.

Weird

Easiest Install Ever
short of the dust in the computer!
GAH! Tres Nasty! I wish I'd bought that can (or 6) of compressed air. Oh well, one more thing to add to the ToDo list. (Reopen computer, and clean out all dust!)
I'm glad the guy pissed me off, because my other thought is "what if there isn't enough room in the computer for another hard drive?" There are 3 open 5 1/4" bays, but no smaller ones. So, I have to look into something else. I'm actually not willing to give up either of the drives that are in there now. They have stuff on it, and I'm quite OK with using the teeny one as the booting system, the 40 gig for business and document storage, and the new one as a "media" drive. I'm aiming high - 120Gig or more. With the amount of InuYasha I've been downloading, and my new video card's ability to capture from DVD and/or tape, I think I'm going to need it.

They also had the camera I want for $320 or so at Microcenter. it's cheap(er) because it's the demo/display model. They don't appear to be carrying this camera anymore. But I also just found it on Ebay, underpriced, since some poor guy is selling it because his wife "doesn't want it." Now OK I didn't want that $5 drink the other night, this is a $400 camera. Am I prepared to SPEND this kind of money - not really. But I think the one on Ebay might be one I can't turn down.

I need to get moving on my Ebay processes myself. There's too much I want, and I don't have the money to be doing it. On the list are: 120+Gig Hard drive, 17" or bigger flat panel monitor, Comno printer, preferably laser printer, Xbox and or PS2, some games (if I ever get around to paying any *grins*), some of the DVD sets I wanted (Oh, mental note, off to DVD PLanet as soon as this is done!)

I haven't gotten much done, cleaning wise, and the unit is home now. But that doesn't mean I can clean off things, and I think opening my window is in order.

I'm COVERED in dust! Icky!

*Addendum* This new CD drive doesn't seem to be any better than the others. I dunno, it doesn't seem to be ripping any faster, although I'm wondering if it isn't more sonstanly at 2.5times or 3.0 than the other drives. I need to try burning a disk, one I've had set up for months, the Cruxshadows last set for kanine along with some other cds that have gone missing on me, that I want to remake, and a Cruxshadows "Favorites" cd for my car, so I can take more varied CDs instead of 6 Cruxshadows *grins*