Heh

....You can't unmake a cold mistake
....You can't undo the hearts you break
....You can't erase the poet's fate
Not even if you try

*sigh* I've been wondering why I've been drawn to these particular lyrics.

I found a friend's journal I had no idea existed. I can understand him not wanting to read my ramblings, but he never mentioned it, not once.
....You can't unmake a cold mistake

I found it tonight
in watching HIM ignore me, as usual, and storm off, as usual. I'm starting to pity HIM, although I still want to kick him square in the nuts.
....You can't undo the hearts you break

I saw a former friend's journal, and it made me feel better about my choices to have nothing to do with this person. I have enough boring drama, I can't believe I tolerated this one's for so long. Especially since the relationship bellyflopped. *shrug* Would I have done anything differently, if I knew how it would turn out?
Probably not.
....You can't erase the poet's fate

Not even if you try.....

I think I'm melancholy. I'd better head to bed, and try and put it aside, and focus on the good things, like this weekend, and next, and how many neat people I have here. It's mostly the brooding about HIM that has me right now. I'll be OK in the morning.

You know

There's one thing I HATE
Change.
It's why my life is structured, my late mornings not withstanding (And, if you observe, it's not THAT that bothers me, it when I've accepted it, and try to adjust my life to it, and outside forces prevent me, that's when I have the problems) I don't like it when things change, wuickly, or last minute. I don't like feeling rushed, or cheated by lack of time that I'd properly budgeted for, and someone or somehting else caused havok to.

Today, this is brought to you by the change in a pizza. Yep, I said pizza. My favorite place here on the Cape (the office I'm working in today) has awesome pizza and chicken subs. I decided on a small pizza before I began working, so I can concentrate. Except it, well, kinda sucked. It was lackluster, lacked taste. Plus, I've gotten used to the Uber Meat Hawaiian pizza from the place near home, so I guess it's understandable. But DAMN. I feel - cheated.

This is what happens when I'm thrown for a loop. It happened getting to London, it happened with HIM, it's happened when friends walk away with NO reason stated whatsoever.

Weird.

Plans are on target for the weekend. We'll have to see tho, I don't have my new PIN for my ATM card, so I might not be able to use that, and I don't have my replacement license yet. I'm hoping both come tonight. Then I can RSVP and make plans. I'm now thinking about leaving earlier on Friday so I can go out with angelsil. At this rate, I'll be leaving tonight *laughs* I was originally thinking 7PM, but now I'm thinking more like 4PM. This hinges on what I get tonight.

And how much work I get done today. I should have at it.

I'm OK - the melancholy has faded, to an urge to kick balls, and a general feeling of "What a dumbass."

Ugh

I'm still here.
And I've reached the level of "Nope, don't wanna."
I seriously haven't done anything productive in an hour.
Seriously considering bringing work home. There's a big database thingy I can do at home, I just need to take the software, and information. 'Course, my track record of "do work at home" sucks. but I'm getting hungry, and cranky, and I want OUT.

This Depreciation/Database thing is one of the few big projects I have. Maybe if I take it home, I'll get it done, not come in next week (I can work on it during my "not moving stuff" times) and i can come in the week after before the boss comes back to finish up the cleaning and stuff. I need to review the data files, clean out old ones, do some archiving and sorting of the bigger files. I'd rather not have actual WORK to do while I'm doing all that crap.

Ok, it's settled, I'm packing it in and heading home, with database project. *sighs* I need to copy the instructions of doing things from home that the network guy left for my boss. But, before that, we have MAIL - I just called the unit and there's something from the Registry, and I'm hoping my PIN, so I can get some money and deposit a check.

GAH - But it's better than driving an hour to work next week. Whee.