I guess I wanted to post something thoughtful

But all I can think of is
*boing*
Going to NYC tomorrow.
I'm not going to deal with anything til I get back, dammit.
I'm not going to worry about money, or work.
It'll be here when I get back.
*boing boing boing*
Kazama is driving down here, so we won't lose my opportune window of departure. My boss is out in the morning and I forgot to ask him to cut my paycheck early. *pout* So I'll wait for him to get back in. Of course, he may leave it early, but I told him not to rush on MY account, I was the dumb one. And I have to run to Saturn.
But my bag is packed (with anything I might feel like wearing. I am a goddess damned clothes horse! Sheesh. I think I have at least ten different outfits, not counting those that mix and match, or the one I'm wearing tomorrow.) I have jewelry and makeup and hair stuff, and bathing stuff. I know they have things, but I need my own conditioner, plus my contact lens stuff. AND I'm taking the boots of doom, in case I get daring. Two bags, plus some CD's isn't bad at all. Ok it's only for two days but *shrug*
AND
I'm not getting any this weekend. frickin female timing. *grrrrrr* Before you ask, and, this is a MAJOR TMI, I don't do, well, THAT (keeping it work safe), during those days. It's not nice to do to a guy you just met *LOL* Actually this is probably a good thing. There will be some, mystery, shall we say, should I find one and feel like keeping him. Just an excuse for another trip. Oh well. I'm good at other things. *ROTFLMAO*
Anyway.
Need some water, and read for a bit, and bed, to get up, run some last minute errands, and drag Kazama off to NYC, for some debauchery. I'm bringing a point and pray, in case I get him all tarted up. *LAUGH*

Also

My May streak is very apparently over. Perhaps Ben isn't at fault. *laugh*
Actually, I think I've put my finger on it, and I'm not too upset.
It started with Damien. (The aptly named) With him, I found out I was not the ugly bitch I felt like, after being in HER shadow. Yes, he was flighty, but I got his attention, for a bit. His antics really did bore me, in the end, and so would have he if he hadn't run off (not because of me, his was unable to deal with his life)
Then it was Lou. Who is still one of my most dearest. Had our moments, good AND bad. It was over by summer's end, but that was quite OK. I like him where he is, and NO Kazama, I'm not going back there. He's too, um, polite? Won't talk about things, til I get into screaming bitch mode. Nope, not a good idea.
Then there was Marcus. *waves* I'm not going to say anything, except don't believe the hype *ROTFLMAO* Seriously, he's still here, even thought we PISS each other OFF *hugs*
Last year was - nothing. The closest thing was Zach, but he was nearer the holidays.
This year - nothing yet.
And now I know.
Every year I got lucky, if you will, I found something/someone new. I didn't do that last year. It was a bad year, I wasn't able to do much, I hadn't met the Spies yet. I had a HOPE, but, hey, he was a dumbass, and at least I didn't see him naked (right Bunni?)
The next new thing was Zach. Plus, I think I was, um, engrossed with another drama. Too focused on trying NOT to be focused on Ben. So I missed my chance.
So, I have hope that, without my attachments this weekend (the company I brought last time) I can mingle and meet fresh meat (no pun intended). Especially since Aimee will be at the BatCave with Bells on. And she's good for the cute intelligent type. Plus, being able to say to Kazama "Yo, get lost, dig?" without him freaking (like Laura would have) will be useful.
I want to come home with at least one new friend. Preferably Male, with his own place, a quick smile, a cute butt, an interest in Buffy, and a lust for me. That would be nice. Give myself that "new person" shot.
I just know, within minutes of getting to know someone (and I've made and revised these decisions, this is a general statement, not individual cases) whether or not I can trust them enough to see them naked, and whether or not they have a shot. I know I shouldn't, but it's there. It's the gut feeling thing. So if I'm not all over you in about, oh 10 minutes, it won't happen. I may change my mind about wanting, but, especially in light of recent events, I already know it WON'T happen. That's why I like to come on strong. I already know what I want. I just have to convince YOU. It sounds easy, doesn't it? Occasionally, I get a money wrench. Like, pun intended, little monkey Ben. That came out of nowhere, I thought I'd never get anywhere there. *sigh* Definitely taught me to trust my gut. I don't regret it, not one bit. I'm not going to regret anything, ever again. I'm just going to do.
Look out NYC. *snarf* the poor little Goth boys don't know what's rolling in tomorrow.