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tiamatladyMy May streak is very apparently over. Perhaps Ben isn't at fault. *laugh*
Actually, I think I've put my finger on it, and I'm not too upset.
It started with Damien. (The aptly named) With him, I found out I was not the ugly bitch I felt like, after being in HER shadow. Yes, he was flighty, but I got his attention, for a bit. His antics really did bore me, in the end, and so would have he if he hadn't run off (not because of me, his was unable to deal with his life)
Then it was Lou. Who is still one of my most dearest. Had our moments, good AND bad. It was over by summer's end, but that was quite OK. I like him where he is, and NO Kazama, I'm not going back there. He's too, um, polite? Won't talk about things, til I get into screaming bitch mode. Nope, not a good idea.
Then there was Marcus. *waves* I'm not going to say anything, except don't believe the hype *ROTFLMAO* Seriously, he's still here, even thought we PISS each other OFF *hugs*
Last year was - nothing. The closest thing was Zach, but he was nearer the holidays.
This year - nothing yet.
And now I know.
Every year I got lucky, if you will, I found something/someone new. I didn't do that last year. It was a bad year, I wasn't able to do much, I hadn't met the Spies yet. I had a HOPE, but, hey, he was a dumbass, and at least I didn't see him naked (right Bunni?)
The next new thing was Zach. Plus, I think I was, um, engrossed with another drama. Too focused on trying NOT to be focused on Ben. So I missed my chance.
So, I have hope that, without my attachments this weekend (the company I brought last time) I can mingle and meet fresh meat (no pun intended). Especially since Aimee will be at the BatCave with Bells on. And she's good for the cute intelligent type. Plus, being able to say to Kazama "Yo, get lost, dig?" without him freaking (like Laura would have) will be useful.
I want to come home with at least one new friend. Preferably Male, with his own place, a quick smile, a cute butt, an interest in Buffy, and a lust for me. That would be nice. Give myself that "new person" shot.
I just know, within minutes of getting to know someone (and I've made and revised these decisions, this is a general statement, not individual cases) whether or not I can trust them enough to see them naked, and whether or not they have a shot. I know I shouldn't, but it's there. It's the gut feeling thing. So if I'm not all over you in about, oh 10 minutes, it won't happen. I may change my mind about wanting, but, especially in light of recent events, I already know it WON'T happen. That's why I like to come on strong. I already know what I want. I just have to convince YOU. It sounds easy, doesn't it? Occasionally, I get a money wrench. Like, pun intended, little monkey Ben. That came out of nowhere, I thought I'd never get anywhere there. *sigh* Definitely taught me to trust my gut. I don't regret it, not one bit. I'm not going to regret anything, ever again. I'm just going to do.
Look out NYC. *snarf* the poor little Goth boys don't know what's rolling in tomorrow.
Actually, I think I've put my finger on it, and I'm not too upset.
It started with Damien. (The aptly named) With him, I found out I was not the ugly bitch I felt like, after being in HER shadow. Yes, he was flighty, but I got his attention, for a bit. His antics really did bore me, in the end, and so would have he if he hadn't run off (not because of me, his was unable to deal with his life)
Then it was Lou. Who is still one of my most dearest. Had our moments, good AND bad. It was over by summer's end, but that was quite OK. I like him where he is, and NO Kazama, I'm not going back there. He's too, um, polite? Won't talk about things, til I get into screaming bitch mode. Nope, not a good idea.
Then there was Marcus. *waves* I'm not going to say anything, except don't believe the hype *ROTFLMAO* Seriously, he's still here, even thought we PISS each other OFF *hugs*
Last year was - nothing. The closest thing was Zach, but he was nearer the holidays.
This year - nothing yet.
And now I know.
Every year I got lucky, if you will, I found something/someone new. I didn't do that last year. It was a bad year, I wasn't able to do much, I hadn't met the Spies yet. I had a HOPE, but, hey, he was a dumbass, and at least I didn't see him naked (right Bunni?)
The next new thing was Zach. Plus, I think I was, um, engrossed with another drama. Too focused on trying NOT to be focused on Ben. So I missed my chance.
So, I have hope that, without my attachments this weekend (the company I brought last time) I can mingle and meet fresh meat (no pun intended). Especially since Aimee will be at the BatCave with Bells on. And she's good for the cute intelligent type. Plus, being able to say to Kazama "Yo, get lost, dig?" without him freaking (like Laura would have) will be useful.
I want to come home with at least one new friend. Preferably Male, with his own place, a quick smile, a cute butt, an interest in Buffy, and a lust for me. That would be nice. Give myself that "new person" shot.
I just know, within minutes of getting to know someone (and I've made and revised these decisions, this is a general statement, not individual cases) whether or not I can trust them enough to see them naked, and whether or not they have a shot. I know I shouldn't, but it's there. It's the gut feeling thing. So if I'm not all over you in about, oh 10 minutes, it won't happen. I may change my mind about wanting, but, especially in light of recent events, I already know it WON'T happen. That's why I like to come on strong. I already know what I want. I just have to convince YOU. It sounds easy, doesn't it? Occasionally, I get a money wrench. Like, pun intended, little monkey Ben. That came out of nowhere, I thought I'd never get anywhere there. *sigh* Definitely taught me to trust my gut. I don't regret it, not one bit. I'm not going to regret anything, ever again. I'm just going to do.
Look out NYC. *snarf* the poor little Goth boys don't know what's rolling in tomorrow.
