I meant to post last night
Feb. 1st, 2002 12:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tiamatladybefore I went to bed, but I ended up taunting him right out of my bad mood.
See, I was ill, and not in the mood, but I went to ManRay. because Lou leaves tomorrow to return to Georgia. And I wanted to see him. So I hacked and coughed, and made people kiss my hand because I was sickly. BenRodda was actually quite attentive, although I attribute this to him being drunk, and me being in my sad pathetic sick state, and unable to taunt him.
Lou and I shared several private jokes, fortunately the butt(s) of our jokes kept walking past and we'd giggle at them *snicker* He's kinda gotten himself in a "predicament" with a gurl he used to date. She seems to have her eye on being his gf, although she lives here and he in Georgia. It's a control thing I think. She wants, can't have, and is pushy enough to try and force the issue (wow sounds familiar, doesn't it?) Anyway, she seems nice enough and she got drunk enough to try and convince me to dance with her, but she was following him around, and doing some serious annoying, plus she was very put out when I declined to dance because "The cat sitting on my chest won't let me." like it was some personal affront or something. (I wouldn't have danced with her anyway, but I really couldn't breathe by that point)
So, I went outside, to my car, parked next to his, and waited for them. He was driving Howie home, because Howie wasn't going to geta chance to see him either after Wednesday. He came right out to me, saying "I'd thought you'd left" and hugged me. As usual I didn't want to let go. I get like that when the last hug is here, when I know I won't be seeing him again for a while. And then his passengers started getting impatient to pissy. Let's go, let's go. He didn't look back, he never does. That's OK,
Me? I cried most of the way home. I usually do.
I cried most of the way from Columbus back to Atlanta when I left him there.
I don't know what it is.
I know once it was because I felt guilty because I refused to hug him.
But I get all upset.
Like....
Like it might be the last time.
And the way things are. It could be.
He's not planning on it, he talks about when he's back here getting his degree. He's aiming for "Green to Gold" where you leave full time Army, and back into the Guard. The GI BIll pays your way through college, where you get an appropriate degree (In his case he wants languages) Then you go back full time, this time as an officer, not a grunt.
So why do I feel this way whenever he leaves?
Just talking about it makes me tear up.
*sigh*
I'm gonna go to bed now. I've had enough computer for one night.
I miss Lou already, and I will for a while I think.
See, I was ill, and not in the mood, but I went to ManRay. because Lou leaves tomorrow to return to Georgia. And I wanted to see him. So I hacked and coughed, and made people kiss my hand because I was sickly. BenRodda was actually quite attentive, although I attribute this to him being drunk, and me being in my sad pathetic sick state, and unable to taunt him.
Lou and I shared several private jokes, fortunately the butt(s) of our jokes kept walking past and we'd giggle at them *snicker* He's kinda gotten himself in a "predicament" with a gurl he used to date. She seems to have her eye on being his gf, although she lives here and he in Georgia. It's a control thing I think. She wants, can't have, and is pushy enough to try and force the issue (wow sounds familiar, doesn't it?) Anyway, she seems nice enough and she got drunk enough to try and convince me to dance with her, but she was following him around, and doing some serious annoying, plus she was very put out when I declined to dance because "The cat sitting on my chest won't let me." like it was some personal affront or something. (I wouldn't have danced with her anyway, but I really couldn't breathe by that point)
So, I went outside, to my car, parked next to his, and waited for them. He was driving Howie home, because Howie wasn't going to geta chance to see him either after Wednesday. He came right out to me, saying "I'd thought you'd left" and hugged me. As usual I didn't want to let go. I get like that when the last hug is here, when I know I won't be seeing him again for a while. And then his passengers started getting impatient to pissy. Let's go, let's go. He didn't look back, he never does. That's OK,
Me? I cried most of the way home. I usually do.
I cried most of the way from Columbus back to Atlanta when I left him there.
I don't know what it is.
I know once it was because I felt guilty because I refused to hug him.
But I get all upset.
Like....
Like it might be the last time.
And the way things are. It could be.
He's not planning on it, he talks about when he's back here getting his degree. He's aiming for "Green to Gold" where you leave full time Army, and back into the Guard. The GI BIll pays your way through college, where you get an appropriate degree (In his case he wants languages) Then you go back full time, this time as an officer, not a grunt.
So why do I feel this way whenever he leaves?
Just talking about it makes me tear up.
*sigh*
I'm gonna go to bed now. I've had enough computer for one night.
I miss Lou already, and I will for a while I think.
