update

[tiamatlady]

I am not sleeping well at all at night. I wonder what's bugging me. Usually, some sort of mental thing has me all up in a dither. I've been exhausted but I'm not falling into bed and dropping, and I'm waking up several times a night. At least waking up enough to remember I did in the morning. Also, I'm having serious issues getting up on time in the morning again. This has been for about two weeks now. PROBABLY it's from the dither of the ManRay closing and this week has just been the busy. I don't expect to have any down time til tomorrow to do ANYTHING, like pack for the weekend. I also want to use the new hairdye, and that would be better off done tonight, but I have a client to see after work, and if I don't get home til after 10 that would suck. My eating schedule is way off as well. I'm thinking I need to pack some breakfast stuff to bring to the office, as I'm never hungry before work but right now, an hour in I'm STahhhhhving, and I Have nothing and shouldn't really be going out. I'm thinking a new box of cereal should be procured and I need to portion it out into one of my handy Glad boxes for the morning (this will also control portion size too!) The issue I'm having is that I DON'T ALWAYS make time for this. And I need to start.

While I have a schedule, I don't seem to own it. I work late whenever the mood strikes me, I never think further ahead than the weekend, and I make plans with myself and NOTHING ever gets accomplished. I don't have any drive, that hasn't changed since I got the job. The ONLY thing is that my life has some structure, in that I am required to be at work from 9 to 6. And while I enjoy the work (today I'm doing bank recs, which I love doing) I HATE the effect it has on the rest of my time. I don't seem to DO anything.

I'm glad the club is closed now. The last few weeks there have felt more like a job than this one ever could. I've said that before.

I have SO MUCH to do and I find myself staring at 11PM every night wondering where my night went and knowing I need to go to bed so I can try and get up on time, which never happens anyway.

I need a vacation from my life. I MIGHT pull back from social stuff for a week or so following my birthday, JUST to get on track. I think I'm balancing too much and the load is wobbly, and Im about to drop it.

I just got SO distracted from this by work, so I need to post and get to it. More later, I hope.

Comments

[othniel77.livejournal.com]

Wasn't there a rumor about Manray having an auction of some of their furnishings? You should call dibs on your bench :)

[tiamatlady]

Actually, we've been through this already about two weeks ago.

The auction was this morning, at 11AM.
I'd been giving some thought as to where to put the thing, and the amount of schmutz that might be on it.
THEN last Friday happened, and after what took place sitting next to me, I didn't want it in my nice soon to be clean and painted new/old house.
(Let's just say it involved tourists, some guys naked ass, a couple of whips and poor technique)

There's not enough bleach in the world to clean it now. So I let it go.