Here's the problem
Dec. 30th, 2004 12:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tiamatladyI'm feeling decidedly antisocial.
Like Do Not want to deal with the dregs of society antisocial.
Last night was a ton of fun on the bun. I liked seeing people out, especially my little Ranger boy (I Haven't seen him dance in years literally. I just watched him for a while, gave me the warm soft and squishies) But I was getting overwhelmed by the number of people, and it's not just because usually there isn't as many people out, let alone people out I know and want to talk to.
I'm feeling the urge to stay in Friday. I have no desire to go out among the crowds, and there is NOTHING public that's drawing to me. ManRay is NOT appealing this year, it just looks like a pale image of itself. I'm FAR MORE interested in going out Saturday night.
I want to stay in Friday and download stuff, play with my poor overloaded C: drive. I want to clean, and put some of these silly books up on Amazon, maybe some more things on Ebay, and finally send some things to Velvet Garden. I have personal accounting to do, things to prep, and social engagements the rest of the weekend.
I don't feel like going out tomorrow night. And I don't know why I'm having issues with that feeling. Maybe because I feel like I'm letting Bret down, who has places to go and is pretty keen on the idea of going out Saturday. Maybe I feel I'm letting El down, who is throwing ideas at me left and right, and I'm not interested in dealing with people. She desperately wants to go out and do SOMETHING, and I feel like I'm being looked to provide the "entertainment." Anyone keeping score should know how I feel about that, to a point. I'm not happy with being made to be the entertainment. If I'm UP TO IT, if I'm in a great mood and I'm having fun, I have no issues. But I'm tired, and not exactly happy, and to have someone be COUNTING on me to make their life exciting pisses me off. Damnit DO IT YOURSELF! I Have no problem going out alone, or making my own fun.
*sighs*
I guess that's the real issue.
I have to go to the office, and I don't think I'll be at Goffee tonight - I'm not in the mood for ANYONE. I feel crappy bitching about it too. Who complains about being popular? *grins* But I'm just not very friendly today. I'm not in the mood for the hangers on, and people who think I should socialize with them to the point of insistence. And tonight I just might tell them to fuck off.
Heh - I'm in a "mean" mood I guess. *shrugs* I'm just going to come right home, and enjoy the silence of the house, and start my cleaning. It depends on when I get to the office, and how much I have to do. I haven't checked my email, and for all I know should have been there hours ago. *evil grin* Oh well, fire me then. Nyah.
Must set aside cash to order that alarm. Very Not Happy about the length of my sleeping.
Anywhoo, I need a shower and something to eat. And blessed coffee.
Like Do Not want to deal with the dregs of society antisocial.
Last night was a ton of fun on the bun. I liked seeing people out, especially my little Ranger boy (I Haven't seen him dance in years literally. I just watched him for a while, gave me the warm soft and squishies) But I was getting overwhelmed by the number of people, and it's not just because usually there isn't as many people out, let alone people out I know and want to talk to.
I'm feeling the urge to stay in Friday. I have no desire to go out among the crowds, and there is NOTHING public that's drawing to me. ManRay is NOT appealing this year, it just looks like a pale image of itself. I'm FAR MORE interested in going out Saturday night.
I want to stay in Friday and download stuff, play with my poor overloaded C: drive. I want to clean, and put some of these silly books up on Amazon, maybe some more things on Ebay, and finally send some things to Velvet Garden. I have personal accounting to do, things to prep, and social engagements the rest of the weekend.
I don't feel like going out tomorrow night. And I don't know why I'm having issues with that feeling. Maybe because I feel like I'm letting Bret down, who has places to go and is pretty keen on the idea of going out Saturday. Maybe I feel I'm letting El down, who is throwing ideas at me left and right, and I'm not interested in dealing with people. She desperately wants to go out and do SOMETHING, and I feel like I'm being looked to provide the "entertainment." Anyone keeping score should know how I feel about that, to a point. I'm not happy with being made to be the entertainment. If I'm UP TO IT, if I'm in a great mood and I'm having fun, I have no issues. But I'm tired, and not exactly happy, and to have someone be COUNTING on me to make their life exciting pisses me off. Damnit DO IT YOURSELF! I Have no problem going out alone, or making my own fun.
*sighs*
I guess that's the real issue.
I have to go to the office, and I don't think I'll be at Goffee tonight - I'm not in the mood for ANYONE. I feel crappy bitching about it too. Who complains about being popular? *grins* But I'm just not very friendly today. I'm not in the mood for the hangers on, and people who think I should socialize with them to the point of insistence. And tonight I just might tell them to fuck off.
Heh - I'm in a "mean" mood I guess. *shrugs* I'm just going to come right home, and enjoy the silence of the house, and start my cleaning. It depends on when I get to the office, and how much I have to do. I haven't checked my email, and for all I know should have been there hours ago. *evil grin* Oh well, fire me then. Nyah.
Must set aside cash to order that alarm. Very Not Happy about the length of my sleeping.
Anywhoo, I need a shower and something to eat. And blessed coffee.
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no subject
Date: 2004-12-30 05:54 pm (UTC)Maybe a compromise of "hey, let's meet for dinner" with folks tomorrow night and then you go home and do your shtuff?
Hope to see you Saturday, but don't sweat it if you don't feel up to it.
I loves ya anyway!
no subject
Date: 2004-12-30 05:59 pm (UTC)I don't feel like I'm expected, and it'll be a lot of fun.
it's the emails from my friend saying "what are we doing" and me saying "Um, I'm really not up to it" and her saying "What about here and here and here and here!"
I just don't want to go. And I have this feeling of "well if you don't go I won't go, then my life will suck." and it's making me pissy, you know?
After what happened in the UK, with a "friend" I'm overly sensative to "Well MY life is ruined because YOU'RE selfish."
*shrugs*
I won't go out if I'm in a bad mood. Saturday will be typical and not loaded with the annoying people (like some of the girls from last night, eh? *evil grin*) just loaded with the fun and cool people, which I Like *grin*
I hope there's compromise for tomorrow, but if it involves ME tracking down something to do, ME deciding what's going on, and then ME herding cats, I don't really consider that a compromise *grins* I feel that's what El wants, me to get all bouncy and have one of my "naughty sexy adventures" and drag her along.
When did I have naughty sexy adventures, anyway? I wish I'd known about it! *lol*
no subject
Date: 2004-12-30 06:02 pm (UTC)yeah, I can see how it would be annoying to be pressed all the time. And expected to make the decision. How about a "I will be at $RESTAURANT at 6pm for dinner. See you there. After dinner I will be going home."
no subject
Date: 2004-12-30 06:23 pm (UTC)This is why I think there's something wrong - I know it's my issue. I feel bad that people want to do stuff and I'm not leading them into it, but then again I think why should I?
I'm sure that she'll make a suggestion and I'll go with it. I'm going to talk her into coming out Saturday, we have the same social engagement Sunday and maybe she can stay over then we can go from here.
(She's also interested in bret and can't seem to make plans with him without me as a chaperone. I'm sorry, it's not my job to get her laid, especially when I've laid (so to speak) all the groundwork she needs and it's up to her now. Silly Wimmins!)
no subject
Date: 2004-12-30 06:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-30 06:46 pm (UTC)I think I'm going to propse that.
*evil grin* I knew you'd have the right answer.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-31 05:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-31 06:10 am (UTC)Thursdays at Diesal in Davis Square.
Some nights my "I don't think I need to socialize with you" comes out A LOT and it's best for me to stay home. The rest of the group tries to be "nice" and "friendly" and we KNOW how well that works with me *giggles!*
I think this week was kinda light, people wise. If you ever drop by, come to the back and look for the sea of black and Apple Laptops. Frigging geeks. *sighs*
deserted Goffee
Date: 2004-12-31 02:28 pm (UTC)Who's Ranger boy?
Date: 2004-12-31 05:25 am (UTC)I just might have to make a post about it.
Re: Who's Ranger boy?
Date: 2004-12-31 06:08 am (UTC)Ranger boy is my friend Lou, once a little ookie spooky gothling from Worcester, now cut and muscled Army Ranger stationed in Italy, soon to be sent out to the MidEast, for the fourth time by my count. There are previous posts about him if you're bored enough to read back - he married a pitrat last May, and from the time his mommy asked me to be in his wedding until the day AFTER I was bitchy and annoyed, since I didn't think she was good enough. We have a truce, which is still in effect I suppose, and I should at least TRY to make the nice nice with her.
But I'll be adding their LJs at some point, so a lot of bitchy entries might go Super Duper friends only *grins*
It was actually kinda crowded for a Wednesday, and the music was pretty good. You probably would have been killed to death by dancing.....