today is teh suck
Jul. 19th, 2004 10:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tiamatladyGetting an panicky phone call first thing is NOT the way to wake up! I feel bad, and I feel worse that I can't just drop everything and come help. I can tho, but I'll wait to see if I'm needed.
There were TOO MANY humans in this house last night. Three kids, and my wigged out Unit. She didn't know WHY she HAD to deal with everything. Um maybe because you were stupid enough to say YES? Seriously, I couldn't sleep, once I did it wasn't well. I need OUT of this house. Or more specifically away from the Unit. It doesn't help that I woke up to the pain in my tooth NOT going away, and in fact getting worse. I feel like I'm going to float away with the amount of water I'm drinking, with pills and in general. There's a new swelling on my tooth, and I resent my dentist even MORE since he refused to put any stuff on it to make the pain go away.
Plus the Unit has offered, potentially (like the tires, she has offered without asking, and when the argument comes up she'll say I "made her") to help me underwrite the surgery. But I don't know how much pain I need to be in to agree to this. She will NOT let me live it down and I will have yet another financial pressure on me. Whom do I pay first? Will it be OK for me to pay my credit card, or does every paycheck go to the Unit, or to D? I HATE this.
And again, this morning, a member of my family thinks I should stop "goofing off" and get a "real job" as defined by benefits and money. Happiness isn't in there at all. Failure isn't in there at all. What about the statement "I can NOT get up on time to get to work at 8AM." do you not understand? It isn't a matter of getting up, it isn't a matter of going out too late. It's a matter of my body will NOT do it. I set alarms, I set THREE, and I sleep through all of them. There is no willpower, there is no "duty" there is only sleep. Add to this, my inability to SLEEP. I was tired, and away form the computer last night. I didn't go out, I was alone and quiet and Could Not Sleep until well after two, approaching three. I can make a living wage. I can do everything I need to do. I need time in which to do it, and I need for the shots from left field to stop. Teeth need to settle down, car needs to stop acting up. I need for the "emergencies" to stop.
Feh, I need to get to work. You know, that thing according to the Unit I don't do. Please don't comment about how I need to get my shit together, or how I'm not the only one who has responsibilities. My situation isn't yours, nor is yours mine. I'm not writing this for kicks, or advice; I'm writing it to get it out of my head so things can quiet and I can work on stuff one thing at a time.
getting money today would be nice. I need to type up a bill, and hopefully beat da boss into the office so I can fix what he's whining about, and he can print checks, including mine. I've never heard anyone whine so damn much about a mistake HE made. Ass.
There were TOO MANY humans in this house last night. Three kids, and my wigged out Unit. She didn't know WHY she HAD to deal with everything. Um maybe because you were stupid enough to say YES? Seriously, I couldn't sleep, once I did it wasn't well. I need OUT of this house. Or more specifically away from the Unit. It doesn't help that I woke up to the pain in my tooth NOT going away, and in fact getting worse. I feel like I'm going to float away with the amount of water I'm drinking, with pills and in general. There's a new swelling on my tooth, and I resent my dentist even MORE since he refused to put any stuff on it to make the pain go away.
Plus the Unit has offered, potentially (like the tires, she has offered without asking, and when the argument comes up she'll say I "made her") to help me underwrite the surgery. But I don't know how much pain I need to be in to agree to this. She will NOT let me live it down and I will have yet another financial pressure on me. Whom do I pay first? Will it be OK for me to pay my credit card, or does every paycheck go to the Unit, or to D? I HATE this.
And again, this morning, a member of my family thinks I should stop "goofing off" and get a "real job" as defined by benefits and money. Happiness isn't in there at all. Failure isn't in there at all. What about the statement "I can NOT get up on time to get to work at 8AM." do you not understand? It isn't a matter of getting up, it isn't a matter of going out too late. It's a matter of my body will NOT do it. I set alarms, I set THREE, and I sleep through all of them. There is no willpower, there is no "duty" there is only sleep. Add to this, my inability to SLEEP. I was tired, and away form the computer last night. I didn't go out, I was alone and quiet and Could Not Sleep until well after two, approaching three. I can make a living wage. I can do everything I need to do. I need time in which to do it, and I need for the shots from left field to stop. Teeth need to settle down, car needs to stop acting up. I need for the "emergencies" to stop.
Feh, I need to get to work. You know, that thing according to the Unit I don't do. Please don't comment about how I need to get my shit together, or how I'm not the only one who has responsibilities. My situation isn't yours, nor is yours mine. I'm not writing this for kicks, or advice; I'm writing it to get it out of my head so things can quiet and I can work on stuff one thing at a time.
getting money today would be nice. I need to type up a bill, and hopefully beat da boss into the office so I can fix what he's whining about, and he can print checks, including mine. I've never heard anyone whine so damn much about a mistake HE made. Ass.
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-19 08:13 am (UTC)Unless you are living under THEIR roof, you should not have to conform to their idea of a "real job" By the way thats why I pciekd psychology. I refuse to be at work before 10 am!! my body only wakes up at 8 am!!
no subject
Date: 2004-07-19 08:24 am (UTC)HOWEVER,
she's seen me try and work "real jobs" and the job she wants me to take is at a company my sister is considering working at. The one with the abusive boyfriend who has taken off for the weekend leaving her TWO kids and HIS ONE with MY MOTHER.
I'm tired of hearing about what I SHOULD be doing with my life. I have the life she wanted and doesn't have. That's not my fault (or is, according to her my birth fucked up everything. *rolls eyes*)
Oh and if I EVER decide to work a real job, it will be in Public Accounting, for 60+ hours a week, at 80K a year. No piddly nasty job that the Unit thinks I should have. Please. I have the experience and the degree to make MUCHO if I just gave up my life, so if I HAVE to do that, it's going to be worth it. I'd be a CPA in a year and charging $125 an hour for taxes.
And my mother wants me to take an Assistant Controller position for 30K a year. PLEASE! *grins* that's what's got me in an uproar. She's being stupid. *hee hee hee*
no subject
Date: 2004-07-19 08:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-19 07:47 pm (UTC)