Holy shi*t!
Jul. 11th, 2004 11:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tiamatladyI really was beginning to worry.
Money is trickling in, pretty much from being on vacation, and then the lack of work during June. My tooth hurts, I worry about putting gas in the car, I need food stuffs so I don't have to eat out. I have bills to pay and the money coming in is just going to cover some of them.
I go to pay the minimum on my cards (all two of them, with disturbingly low limits. I like it this way - I actually prefer paying the one I use only for gas off every month but haven't been able to do this in the past month.) They're maxed, from me using them for gas.
The one I use as the "car stuff" card - has more available credit. Sometime while I wasn't looking, they raised the limit. Ok - I shouldn't be using credit to survive. But it's taking a HUGE WEIGHT off my mind that I'm going to be ABLE TO PUT GAS IN THE CAR! And I can go to the dentist now instead of later!
Seriously, I'm trying to be upbeat. But there are times I'm ready to chuck the whole thing and get that "real job" that will suck the life right out of me. I don't want a half life, and work is NOT my life. I don't like sitting around bored. And lots of times my former jobs degenerated into that. I can't do that again.
Anyway, I have to call the dentist in the morning. Now that I feel I can. I can at least pay for most of it - it depends on what needs to be done and I can pay for antibiotics as well. Then I call the Unit's oral surgeon for an appointment. Supposedly SHE does payment plans.
The issue is my complete lack of savings. I'm getting tired of this happening. I don't like putting things off that NEED to be done. My car is one thing like that. There's stuff I need to do. You can bet your ass that NOONE is going to make me do anything I think I shouldn't again. I have to repeat I would NOT have gone to England this last time if I didn't feel intense pressure to make someone else a good time. And I guess failed. What and Ever.
I have to finish putting stuff away and I might boot up the laptop to do some spreadsheets.
Money is trickling in, pretty much from being on vacation, and then the lack of work during June. My tooth hurts, I worry about putting gas in the car, I need food stuffs so I don't have to eat out. I have bills to pay and the money coming in is just going to cover some of them.
I go to pay the minimum on my cards (all two of them, with disturbingly low limits. I like it this way - I actually prefer paying the one I use only for gas off every month but haven't been able to do this in the past month.) They're maxed, from me using them for gas.
The one I use as the "car stuff" card - has more available credit. Sometime while I wasn't looking, they raised the limit. Ok - I shouldn't be using credit to survive. But it's taking a HUGE WEIGHT off my mind that I'm going to be ABLE TO PUT GAS IN THE CAR! And I can go to the dentist now instead of later!
Seriously, I'm trying to be upbeat. But there are times I'm ready to chuck the whole thing and get that "real job" that will suck the life right out of me. I don't want a half life, and work is NOT my life. I don't like sitting around bored. And lots of times my former jobs degenerated into that. I can't do that again.
Anyway, I have to call the dentist in the morning. Now that I feel I can. I can at least pay for most of it - it depends on what needs to be done and I can pay for antibiotics as well. Then I call the Unit's oral surgeon for an appointment. Supposedly SHE does payment plans.
The issue is my complete lack of savings. I'm getting tired of this happening. I don't like putting things off that NEED to be done. My car is one thing like that. There's stuff I need to do. You can bet your ass that NOONE is going to make me do anything I think I shouldn't again. I have to repeat I would NOT have gone to England this last time if I didn't feel intense pressure to make someone else a good time. And I guess failed. What and Ever.
I have to finish putting stuff away and I might boot up the laptop to do some spreadsheets.
