Whhoo, am I ever the Uber Crank
Jul. 7th, 2004 06:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tiamatladyI dunno I feel like my day is over and done, and I still have things to do.
Feh.
I hate hate hate that BaOPF client. He treats me like I'm stupid. And it doesn't help when I DO something stupid like I did today. I'm used to being shown how my client's system works, then being LET GO to do it. This guy doesn't let me do anything alone. I swear he's going to walk in with me to take a dump.
On top of all that is the serious lack of money. Like GONE. I have $6 in the bank, $2 in Paypal, pending a payment, and only another $6 waiting, $4 left on one credit card, and $3 left on the other. Finally, I have $6 in my pocket. If that were all in my wallet I wouldn't worry. This is the worst it's been since I started this whole "work for myself" thing. I mean, I rode home from the client wondering if I had to choose between eating and going out. Normally this is a no brainer, obviously. I've been good about money, I haven't been splurging (I only paid for gas and entrance on Sunday, KA bought me the nice drinkie) I've been trying to be good about selling and being reasonable about collections.
I think the thing that gets me is that ANY other month but this one, when I need it, I'd have collected plenty of money by now. But this month has been weird from the getgo, from BEFORE. June's timing made it more than 4 weeks since I've been able to collect money. It's a long month. Plus I'm just starting to work my new jobs. So I'm not seeing a check from BaOPF for THREE WEEKS. This does NOT bode well for my bills. And one thing that's late right now - the student loan the Unit has cosigned for. I THOUGHT I'd be picking up a check today but THANKS again to BaOPF and a Last Minute schedule change, I didn't get that check today. I get it tomorrow. Now I'm LATE late.
But, I think I've figured out a way to have cash in my pocket and pay that bill (just by cashing the check but that's a big deal, kinda) but WHY do I still have to do this financial juggling? I hate this. And I can't help but feel resentful of what put me here, or rather the WHO I'm thinking of. I know it's on me, but I can't help but feel that I wouldn't BE in this if I were alone in my decisions.
Anyway, the choice of food OR club doesn't need to be made, I rummaged for some things in the freezer, and found some chicken (which were freezer burnt and I over cooked. Feh) and a bag of veggies only _I_ could have bought. Corn, carrots, baby corn, broccoli. That's all me, plus it being frozen. So now it's club or save the money. And club might not win. I'm going out a LOT this weekend. And I feel bad enough about the whole money thing, AND I need to be at the client early.
Bah, I'm going to think about it.
So not thriilled.
At least this gum thing I have going on feels more like a burn than swelling anymore. I don't know how it happened but that's my story and belief for now *grins*
Feh.
I hate hate hate that BaOPF client. He treats me like I'm stupid. And it doesn't help when I DO something stupid like I did today. I'm used to being shown how my client's system works, then being LET GO to do it. This guy doesn't let me do anything alone. I swear he's going to walk in with me to take a dump.
On top of all that is the serious lack of money. Like GONE. I have $6 in the bank, $2 in Paypal, pending a payment, and only another $6 waiting, $4 left on one credit card, and $3 left on the other. Finally, I have $6 in my pocket. If that were all in my wallet I wouldn't worry. This is the worst it's been since I started this whole "work for myself" thing. I mean, I rode home from the client wondering if I had to choose between eating and going out. Normally this is a no brainer, obviously. I've been good about money, I haven't been splurging (I only paid for gas and entrance on Sunday, KA bought me the nice drinkie) I've been trying to be good about selling and being reasonable about collections.
I think the thing that gets me is that ANY other month but this one, when I need it, I'd have collected plenty of money by now. But this month has been weird from the getgo, from BEFORE. June's timing made it more than 4 weeks since I've been able to collect money. It's a long month. Plus I'm just starting to work my new jobs. So I'm not seeing a check from BaOPF for THREE WEEKS. This does NOT bode well for my bills. And one thing that's late right now - the student loan the Unit has cosigned for. I THOUGHT I'd be picking up a check today but THANKS again to BaOPF and a Last Minute schedule change, I didn't get that check today. I get it tomorrow. Now I'm LATE late.
But, I think I've figured out a way to have cash in my pocket and pay that bill (just by cashing the check but that's a big deal, kinda) but WHY do I still have to do this financial juggling? I hate this. And I can't help but feel resentful of what put me here, or rather the WHO I'm thinking of. I know it's on me, but I can't help but feel that I wouldn't BE in this if I were alone in my decisions.
Anyway, the choice of food OR club doesn't need to be made, I rummaged for some things in the freezer, and found some chicken (which were freezer burnt and I over cooked. Feh) and a bag of veggies only _I_ could have bought. Corn, carrots, baby corn, broccoli. That's all me, plus it being frozen. So now it's club or save the money. And club might not win. I'm going out a LOT this weekend. And I feel bad enough about the whole money thing, AND I need to be at the client early.
Bah, I'm going to think about it.
So not thriilled.
At least this gum thing I have going on feels more like a burn than swelling anymore. I don't know how it happened but that's my story and belief for now *grins*
