This is the part
Feb. 21st, 2004 06:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tiamatladyI loathe.
I'm probably getting out of here at what I would call a "reasonable" hour, oh, maybe 8, bit later?
I'm supposed to go to a party tonight that I've been more back than forth on, and I'm back again. The MIND wants to go, to see people, to have interaction. The body and the emotional part wants to go home, watch Teen Titans and go to bed. In fact, that seems to be my only goal - make it home for the 9PM TT, instead of staying up til 1 to see it. I don't know if I can do that, AND get dinner. *sighs*
I hate feeling this way. I wanted to talk to people tonight, and it's just "too much effort." I'm in danger of hiding and not connecting. Even MR is an effort what with the dressing and the makeup and all.
And I don't want to do anything tomorrow. Although I think I will set my alarm for say 9 or 10, maybe I'll get up and take a quick ride down to Attleboro, go to Torrid and Target, and look at shoes for the wedding. Then come home and work on some stuff I've been putting off, and also finalize some things in my head for a Monday post. I hate saying no to people, but I have to make some of them responsible for their own stuff (FOR A CHANGE) and if they call me last minute I can say "No, I gave you several opportunities, and you couldn't be bothered."
I hate not going to this party. I feel awful. But I'd need to leave work now, and that isn't happening. I feel like what happened to me last night, I'm doing to someone else.
On that subject, I'm pissed off about it. I made an invitation that was modified, by my agreement. It hinged on people I don't know. I figured I'd be hearing SOMETHING, but I got no information. Now I stayed home from work yesterday, obviously needing the mental health day (as I did nothing but nap and stare at the TV. I was done) But I could have done several things, including gone to work if I'd known that _I_ was getting blown off, since the other party was too. Here's a lesson - for you - when your plans are in pieces, you might connect with some and not others, and at least salvage something. Oh, and I'm on to you, if you DON'T WANT ME AROUND JUST SAY SO - for whatever reason, even if it's I don't know. And, lesson for me - start hanging around with people who want you around. Or rather, start wanting to hang out with those who want you. It's rather easy.
Back to work - again.
I'm probably getting out of here at what I would call a "reasonable" hour, oh, maybe 8, bit later?
I'm supposed to go to a party tonight that I've been more back than forth on, and I'm back again. The MIND wants to go, to see people, to have interaction. The body and the emotional part wants to go home, watch Teen Titans and go to bed. In fact, that seems to be my only goal - make it home for the 9PM TT, instead of staying up til 1 to see it. I don't know if I can do that, AND get dinner. *sighs*
I hate feeling this way. I wanted to talk to people tonight, and it's just "too much effort." I'm in danger of hiding and not connecting. Even MR is an effort what with the dressing and the makeup and all.
And I don't want to do anything tomorrow. Although I think I will set my alarm for say 9 or 10, maybe I'll get up and take a quick ride down to Attleboro, go to Torrid and Target, and look at shoes for the wedding. Then come home and work on some stuff I've been putting off, and also finalize some things in my head for a Monday post. I hate saying no to people, but I have to make some of them responsible for their own stuff (FOR A CHANGE) and if they call me last minute I can say "No, I gave you several opportunities, and you couldn't be bothered."
I hate not going to this party. I feel awful. But I'd need to leave work now, and that isn't happening. I feel like what happened to me last night, I'm doing to someone else.
On that subject, I'm pissed off about it. I made an invitation that was modified, by my agreement. It hinged on people I don't know. I figured I'd be hearing SOMETHING, but I got no information. Now I stayed home from work yesterday, obviously needing the mental health day (as I did nothing but nap and stare at the TV. I was done) But I could have done several things, including gone to work if I'd known that _I_ was getting blown off, since the other party was too. Here's a lesson - for you - when your plans are in pieces, you might connect with some and not others, and at least salvage something. Oh, and I'm on to you, if you DON'T WANT ME AROUND JUST SAY SO - for whatever reason, even if it's I don't know. And, lesson for me - start hanging around with people who want you around. Or rather, start wanting to hang out with those who want you. It's rather easy.
Back to work - again.
