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Feb. 16th, 2004 10:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tiamatladyI really need to get to bed before 2:30.
I woke up at 7:30, but rolled over til 8:45.
I'm pretty sure it's the fact that I couldn't sleep til 2:30.
My intent tonight is to be in bed at midnight, to watch Witch Hunter Robin. Then hopefully start falling asleep during InuYasha. That way, I'll be asleep at one and ready to go the next day. Of course, I can't go to my client til at least midmorning, IF he's working today. I might go to the CPA's for a couple of hours, then to my client, then back to the CPA's. Obviously, I'm not going to Haven. I think this comes from my feeling about overwork for the past 6 to 8 months. I haven't been tempted to go out out during tax season before.
Gah, I wanted to be at the office now. I this have to finish getting dressed, and get off this thing. Oh and coffee, is a MUST this morning.
I just feel the need to get this SOMEWHERE in public. I'd been a little worried about my relationship with someone. Well, more than I was pretty pissed, and haven't had a chance to talk things out. I specifically wanted to call Saturday, but didn't have the number at work (I actually found it in my cell after I got home and it was too late. I have the contact under two names, and only looked at the one without the right number. *sighs*) Then I was going to yesterday, but they sounded like they were having a good day and I didn't want to potentially spoil it by being bitchy. THEN I went and left my phone at home all day, missing several calls, and again not having the number. So I sent an email last night, asking for a call at their convenience, except for some work hours I know I won't be able to talk. But, this morning I get the feeling, and I COULD be wrong, that I've been dismissed. I'm not assuming I have anything to do with anything going on, in fact I know I can't be involved. But I can't shake the feeling that I have some part of it. I feel like I'm about to be left behind, in a move forward. And you know, I understand that, but fucking TELL ME to my face, instead of letting me feel silly. I wouldn't feel so stupid IF I hadn't sent that email last night.
*shrug* I'll probably get told "You have a great big ego, this has nothing to do with you." and whatever, I know that, but that's how I feel at the moment, and without confirmation/dismissal from the party in question, the feeling won't go away. and you know, I still feel wrong for "bothering" them. How effed up is that? I'm getting tired of being faced with a lack of self worth when it comes to my friends. I don't HAVE to do anything for my friends if I don't want to. NOR are my feelings any less valid because they make someone uncomfortable. I don't have to ever back down just because someone whines that I should, since it would make their lives easier (not in a valid "That's wrong" kind of way.) I'm NOT sure where I got this feeling, but I'm SO going to start correcting that now.
I need to get out of here to work. Via coffee. I think I have the cash for coffee, I don't have a lot on me today, but the boss will probably buy lunch, and I might be having dinner out tonight, depending on when I get home.
I woke up at 7:30, but rolled over til 8:45.
I'm pretty sure it's the fact that I couldn't sleep til 2:30.
My intent tonight is to be in bed at midnight, to watch Witch Hunter Robin. Then hopefully start falling asleep during InuYasha. That way, I'll be asleep at one and ready to go the next day. Of course, I can't go to my client til at least midmorning, IF he's working today. I might go to the CPA's for a couple of hours, then to my client, then back to the CPA's. Obviously, I'm not going to Haven. I think this comes from my feeling about overwork for the past 6 to 8 months. I haven't been tempted to go out out during tax season before.
Gah, I wanted to be at the office now. I this have to finish getting dressed, and get off this thing. Oh and coffee, is a MUST this morning.
I just feel the need to get this SOMEWHERE in public. I'd been a little worried about my relationship with someone. Well, more than I was pretty pissed, and haven't had a chance to talk things out. I specifically wanted to call Saturday, but didn't have the number at work (I actually found it in my cell after I got home and it was too late. I have the contact under two names, and only looked at the one without the right number. *sighs*) Then I was going to yesterday, but they sounded like they were having a good day and I didn't want to potentially spoil it by being bitchy. THEN I went and left my phone at home all day, missing several calls, and again not having the number. So I sent an email last night, asking for a call at their convenience, except for some work hours I know I won't be able to talk. But, this morning I get the feeling, and I COULD be wrong, that I've been dismissed. I'm not assuming I have anything to do with anything going on, in fact I know I can't be involved. But I can't shake the feeling that I have some part of it. I feel like I'm about to be left behind, in a move forward. And you know, I understand that, but fucking TELL ME to my face, instead of letting me feel silly. I wouldn't feel so stupid IF I hadn't sent that email last night.
*shrug* I'll probably get told "You have a great big ego, this has nothing to do with you." and whatever, I know that, but that's how I feel at the moment, and without confirmation/dismissal from the party in question, the feeling won't go away. and you know, I still feel wrong for "bothering" them. How effed up is that? I'm getting tired of being faced with a lack of self worth when it comes to my friends. I don't HAVE to do anything for my friends if I don't want to. NOR are my feelings any less valid because they make someone uncomfortable. I don't have to ever back down just because someone whines that I should, since it would make their lives easier (not in a valid "That's wrong" kind of way.) I'm NOT sure where I got this feeling, but I'm SO going to start correcting that now.
I need to get out of here to work. Via coffee. I think I have the cash for coffee, I don't have a lot on me today, but the boss will probably buy lunch, and I might be having dinner out tonight, depending on when I get home.
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*hugs*
Date: 2004-02-16 07:21 am (UTC)Hey, if they are your friend they should be able to talk about what's going on - and not because "it will make their life easier", but because they are your friend.
It was nice to see you last night :) I hope that the tax stuff wasn't a huge damper on your fun. I know it had to be done sometime - I hope you didn't feel that it had to be done last night. Thank you so much, even 5K is better than oweing 3K (like we did before buying the house).
Hang in there lady - two months will fly by before you know it! Then, manicures (once and for all!) :)
Re: *hugs*
Date: 2004-02-17 08:41 am (UTC)No the tax stuff wasn't a bother - it was a pleasure to avoid that movie *grins* And honestly, it's on the easy end of things. *evil grin* I'm just hoping I have enough time to look it over again like I said I would - my week is turning out very lousy. Plus I want you to efile - so I need to find an option, even if it's buy *gag* TurboTax *grins*
More later - I have to get to work now *pouts*
Re: *hugs*
Date: 2004-02-17 09:04 am (UTC)Efiling would be good - whatever it takes :) Just let me know what you think we should do :)
pssst
Date: 2004-02-16 07:31 am (UTC)Re: pssst
Date: 2004-02-17 08:36 am (UTC)Re: pssst
Date: 2004-02-17 08:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-16 01:53 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-16 02:17 pm (UTC)Sent you a reply - should clear everything up.
Unless you're mad - no worries.
And if you are - mudwrestling at dawn. Hair pulling allowed.