![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tiamatladyViolating self imposed "Don't post from work" ban.
I'm tired and I don't want to be here today.
Boss I was afraid would have gone apeshit if I didn't ocme in and get work done? - Not here. I could have easily done the work I did yesterday now. So it's been a few hours of "sit on my ass" and "worry about money."
See, I'm having issues - I've been broke for so long (excluding London, which was it's own set of problems after Lost Wallet Saturday) I'm going a WEE bit spastic at NOT being able to spend my money on ME. I forgot I didn't have as much as I'd originally projected (a month ago mind you) and some of what I've spent in the last 7 days has been excessive. And, sadly, it's all been on either being with people, or on Stuff.
I don't like thinking my bonus should be paying for teeth work in a month. No, no I don't like that at all.
To counteract that, I bought the cable/software I wanted for my phone from Ebay. It's costing about $15 total, and that should take care of my greed for a while, enough to get me out and buying some of the stuff I need to for Xmas.
Fact is - I'm not into it even more than I wasn't into it last year. I'm totally disgusted with myself. I don't WANT to get anyone anything, it's not that I can't afford it, I just can't be bothered. I have no Xmas spirit. I don't want to fight traffic, I don't want to do anything but sleep, and do my own selfish things. And it makes me gag. But not enough to go out and spend money I don't have. (I have some, not enough to do EVERYTHING I should. Bleh.)
*sigh* I think I'm going to go home and change, and consider my plan of attack. I hate people and I don't want to drive in traffic or wait in lines or whatever. But, I think a late trip to Attleboro is in order. There's something my nephew wants that I'd like to get him. At least THAT's Handled.
I'd like to make gifts some year. That would be from the heart.
I'm tired and I don't want to be here today.
Boss I was afraid would have gone apeshit if I didn't ocme in and get work done? - Not here. I could have easily done the work I did yesterday now. So it's been a few hours of "sit on my ass" and "worry about money."
See, I'm having issues - I've been broke for so long (excluding London, which was it's own set of problems after Lost Wallet Saturday) I'm going a WEE bit spastic at NOT being able to spend my money on ME. I forgot I didn't have as much as I'd originally projected (a month ago mind you) and some of what I've spent in the last 7 days has been excessive. And, sadly, it's all been on either being with people, or on Stuff.
I don't like thinking my bonus should be paying for teeth work in a month. No, no I don't like that at all.
To counteract that, I bought the cable/software I wanted for my phone from Ebay. It's costing about $15 total, and that should take care of my greed for a while, enough to get me out and buying some of the stuff I need to for Xmas.
Fact is - I'm not into it even more than I wasn't into it last year. I'm totally disgusted with myself. I don't WANT to get anyone anything, it's not that I can't afford it, I just can't be bothered. I have no Xmas spirit. I don't want to fight traffic, I don't want to do anything but sleep, and do my own selfish things. And it makes me gag. But not enough to go out and spend money I don't have. (I have some, not enough to do EVERYTHING I should. Bleh.)
*sigh* I think I'm going to go home and change, and consider my plan of attack. I hate people and I don't want to drive in traffic or wait in lines or whatever. But, I think a late trip to Attleboro is in order. There's something my nephew wants that I'd like to get him. At least THAT's Handled.
I'd like to make gifts some year. That would be from the heart.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 03:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 05:26 pm (UTC)If I had unlimited money, I could be VERY happy shopping.
Instead I have to look for something "meaningful" instead of "expensive" and it gets harder - especially when I'v elet myself drift away from people due to work. THEN there's work itself - exhausting and preventive form me doing anything afterwards.
*sigh* I know gifts don't need to be expensive to be well received. But it's just so much EASIER! *grins*
The holidays are ruined for me since I spent 4 years working in a drugstore. Nothing like little old ladies, buying WAY too many rolls of wrapping paper, grabbing ONE that wasn't on sale, screaming at you due to the 0.50 cent different to rob the whole thing of any pleasure.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 05:37 pm (UTC)It would certaintly be cheaper! I for one value gifts like that much more than some store bought junk, so it's a good idea.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 05:40 pm (UTC)I've spent more money on aborted gift making supplies, than I ever have on something purchased.
My main issue it not being able to find the "right" thing. It's been a song I've heard in the back of my head for a while now. it's why, when I used to be the gift giving queen, I'm now not. I've let myself draw so far away from some people, I have NO IDEA what they'd really like anymore.
Tonight is "Let's go get the gift cards," tonight and tomorrow anyway.