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tiamatladyI'm thinking there's something seriously wrong with me.
I did a lot of neat things over the past couple of days. I sat here all last night and found myself unable to write about it. I wanted to go out, but not enough to motivate myself. if it was just MR, that would be different (and after my long night in a bucket of ugly the night before, it's understandable) But I stayed home from everything to get stuff done which I did NOT do. The only thing I did do was go through my pictures. Put up the good ones. And they're not good, I need a new camera. This one just ISN'T doing it for me anymore. It served it's purpose, and now it's time for something else.
On top of that, I'm NOT SLEEPING. Or, rather, I'm not sleeping when I'm supposed to. I hesitate to call it "insomnia" since I don't lie there awake. I have no problem getting to sleep, I have no problem staying alseep.I certainly have no problem sleeping til 9 or 10 AM.
Let's point out the last 48 hours, as an example. I went to Haven to see the Cruxshadows. I arranged my schedule to do everything I wanted to. I got there early, which was GOOD since I had the nagging feeling I'd forgotten something and Lo I had - the memory for my camera. I run back to the Best Buy I'd passed, and got another. Went BACK to the club, put on my makeup, and went inside. Was BORED, I don't know anyone but Ben, and I don't think I want to get to know anyone but Ben. Ben was late, with good reason. I swear that boy can't catch a break. See the show, got the new cd, am happy about that. head to Denny's with Ben, then come home. On the way home, was SLEEPY! ALmost didn't make it, as usual. Get home about 5:30 AM. Collapse into bed, pass right out. Have planned Wednesday off for sleeping.
Lou calls me at 11. He was supposed to call at noon. OK, NP. Meet home for lunch, struggle home in traffic. Park and don't leave. Now, I SHOULD be exhausted and am for a while. Lie down. Go next door and get dinner. Proceed to wake up.
Here's the problem - I sat at this computer and did NOTHING and watched Cartoon network til AFTER THREE. It was closer to four before I turned everything off. I wasn't ready to sleep. then, suddenly , I was. And I went right out.
I'm concerned about this. I wanted to sleep around 12;30 I'm trying to get back into a habit of that hour, so I can get off the computer by midnight, settle into bed, watch Inuyasha when it returns to the schedule, and then sleep. It's WAY better than 4AM, that's for sure. I don't know WHY I run perpetually late these days. I'm fairly certain it has to do with my feeling that I have no life anymore. I'm concerned by this. Like now, I'm late. I wanted to be in the shower 15 minutes ago. I wanted to leave an hour ago last night. I wanted to be to work early, and now I'm not.
Did I mention I don't want to go to work today? That I don't want to work at ALL before I leave? I'm tired. I know it's worn out-ness from the other night. but there's more. My attitude is all messed up and I'm hiding. The crowd the other night killed me.
Bah, I need to get moving. I'll think about this later. I haven't been looking forward to today at all. Let's hope my minion doesn't quit. I also have to make some hard choices today. And my attitude isn't helping.
I did a lot of neat things over the past couple of days. I sat here all last night and found myself unable to write about it. I wanted to go out, but not enough to motivate myself. if it was just MR, that would be different (and after my long night in a bucket of ugly the night before, it's understandable) But I stayed home from everything to get stuff done which I did NOT do. The only thing I did do was go through my pictures. Put up the good ones. And they're not good, I need a new camera. This one just ISN'T doing it for me anymore. It served it's purpose, and now it's time for something else.
On top of that, I'm NOT SLEEPING. Or, rather, I'm not sleeping when I'm supposed to. I hesitate to call it "insomnia" since I don't lie there awake. I have no problem getting to sleep, I have no problem staying alseep.I certainly have no problem sleeping til 9 or 10 AM.
Let's point out the last 48 hours, as an example. I went to Haven to see the Cruxshadows. I arranged my schedule to do everything I wanted to. I got there early, which was GOOD since I had the nagging feeling I'd forgotten something and Lo I had - the memory for my camera. I run back to the Best Buy I'd passed, and got another. Went BACK to the club, put on my makeup, and went inside. Was BORED, I don't know anyone but Ben, and I don't think I want to get to know anyone but Ben. Ben was late, with good reason. I swear that boy can't catch a break. See the show, got the new cd, am happy about that. head to Denny's with Ben, then come home. On the way home, was SLEEPY! ALmost didn't make it, as usual. Get home about 5:30 AM. Collapse into bed, pass right out. Have planned Wednesday off for sleeping.
Lou calls me at 11. He was supposed to call at noon. OK, NP. Meet home for lunch, struggle home in traffic. Park and don't leave. Now, I SHOULD be exhausted and am for a while. Lie down. Go next door and get dinner. Proceed to wake up.
Here's the problem - I sat at this computer and did NOTHING and watched Cartoon network til AFTER THREE. It was closer to four before I turned everything off. I wasn't ready to sleep. then, suddenly , I was. And I went right out.
I'm concerned about this. I wanted to sleep around 12;30 I'm trying to get back into a habit of that hour, so I can get off the computer by midnight, settle into bed, watch Inuyasha when it returns to the schedule, and then sleep. It's WAY better than 4AM, that's for sure. I don't know WHY I run perpetually late these days. I'm fairly certain it has to do with my feeling that I have no life anymore. I'm concerned by this. Like now, I'm late. I wanted to be in the shower 15 minutes ago. I wanted to leave an hour ago last night. I wanted to be to work early, and now I'm not.
Did I mention I don't want to go to work today? That I don't want to work at ALL before I leave? I'm tired. I know it's worn out-ness from the other night. but there's more. My attitude is all messed up and I'm hiding. The crowd the other night killed me.
Bah, I need to get moving. I'll think about this later. I haven't been looking forward to today at all. Let's hope my minion doesn't quit. I also have to make some hard choices today. And my attitude isn't helping.
