One big dark room
Jun. 9th, 2003 11:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tiamatladyI feel like a failure when I can't get up on time in the morning.
It's practically impossible for me to get to bed at a reasonable hour. Last night I went to bed after three, and laid awake. It's useless to go to bed when I lie awake. And the whole weekend it was 4AM at LEAST before I even thought about bed. And yet, I didn't get anything productive done, which now gets done tonight. *sigh* I'm thinking about bringing the laptop to work, so I can do things there, as opposed to coming home and getting distracted by the Unit.
I'm also feeling VERY resentful. Pretty much all of my money is going from my account today. I'd be MORE than all set for the month if this didn't have to happen. All my bills taken care of, pay down the credit card, money left over for a couple of things, and the next check goes right to spending money and hotel for Montreal. I am NOT happy. And it's not easy either. When I agreed to this, there was a slim chance I was getting the money back. Now, I'm handing it over, knowing that it's NEVER coming back. And, there's nothing I can do about it. Well, except say "Actually, no, I'm not going to give it to you." but I don't feel this is an option right now. I know, you don't have to say it. All I can feel now, is resentful and broke.
I should call in today. I'm already late. *sigh* I hate days like this. I need a couple of days to myself. I keep saying that, maybe someday I'll listen. I think I'll skip the shower, and just get dressed and FUBAR my day even more.
Sad. Not happy at all. and You'd think I'd be after the weekend.
It's practically impossible for me to get to bed at a reasonable hour. Last night I went to bed after three, and laid awake. It's useless to go to bed when I lie awake. And the whole weekend it was 4AM at LEAST before I even thought about bed. And yet, I didn't get anything productive done, which now gets done tonight. *sigh* I'm thinking about bringing the laptop to work, so I can do things there, as opposed to coming home and getting distracted by the Unit.
I'm also feeling VERY resentful. Pretty much all of my money is going from my account today. I'd be MORE than all set for the month if this didn't have to happen. All my bills taken care of, pay down the credit card, money left over for a couple of things, and the next check goes right to spending money and hotel for Montreal. I am NOT happy. And it's not easy either. When I agreed to this, there was a slim chance I was getting the money back. Now, I'm handing it over, knowing that it's NEVER coming back. And, there's nothing I can do about it. Well, except say "Actually, no, I'm not going to give it to you." but I don't feel this is an option right now. I know, you don't have to say it. All I can feel now, is resentful and broke.
I should call in today. I'm already late. *sigh* I hate days like this. I need a couple of days to myself. I keep saying that, maybe someday I'll listen. I think I'll skip the shower, and just get dressed and FUBAR my day even more.
Sad. Not happy at all. and You'd think I'd be after the weekend.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-06-09 08:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-09 08:29 am (UTC)When I agreed, the subject in question had a job lined up, but it wasn't funded til after the first of June.
After I agreed, the subject in question got a phone call saying the funding had dropped and there was no job.
The subject in question is now depressed and sitting on his ass, with no job prospects in sight. And the worst rep I've ever seen. (IE no help anywhere) So, yes, now I don't expect to get this back, ever. And there's NOTHING I can do about it, short of go back on my word and make the subject worse.
This could, however, be the beginning of the end. If the subject keeps treating me like a personal ATM, I'm going to get Very Angry and tell said person to piss off.