Tiamatlady (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tiamatlady) wrote2001-05-10 02:45 am
tiamatlady) wrote2001-05-10 02:45 am
Things go from sugar to shit
Do you remember
believing in Santa Claus?
the giddy feeling of "does he like me?" from high school?
It's that little part of you that always remains a silly child.
Tonight my inner child got a bitchslap.
Not only does Santa not exist, his corpse in on fire in front of you.
And the boy you like not only thinks you're disgusting but he's goin gto date your best friend, and she's dumped you like a hot potato.
Nothing actually happened. Noone was mean or rotten. I just realized that I don't stand a chance in hell with him. He actually showed up tonight, I can't believe I was right. And I stood there and listened to him speak, and knew for certain that I would never get past "friend". And that depresses me. I'd like to have something clean and pure, somehting meaningful, instead of the dark abyss I'm standing on.
I'm going to bed, and I don't want to get out of it, but hopefully I can to go to work tomorrow, and get my life back.
believing in Santa Claus?
the giddy feeling of "does he like me?" from high school?
It's that little part of you that always remains a silly child.
Tonight my inner child got a bitchslap.
Not only does Santa not exist, his corpse in on fire in front of you.
And the boy you like not only thinks you're disgusting but he's goin gto date your best friend, and she's dumped you like a hot potato.
Nothing actually happened. Noone was mean or rotten. I just realized that I don't stand a chance in hell with him. He actually showed up tonight, I can't believe I was right. And I stood there and listened to him speak, and knew for certain that I would never get past "friend". And that depresses me. I'd like to have something clean and pure, somehting meaningful, instead of the dark abyss I'm standing on.
I'm going to bed, and I don't want to get out of it, but hopefully I can to go to work tomorrow, and get my life back.
Re: *Sigh*
He didn't do anything but be his ever charming self. We even talked about getting together again in NYC next time I go (which I think will be pushed to Columbus Day weekend as he said he'd be here, I'm going to email him, plus Aimee will be busy the weekend of the 19th) I just had a, shall we say, moment of clarity. And I pretty much doubled over.
I won't be seeing him this week, he's home to be here for his father, who is in the beginning stages of chemo. No problem.
I doubt I'll be out for coffee tonight. But I dunno yet. There are other issues that are undealt with that will contribute to my mood. And I'm not sure I can deal in the adult manner I have to, not at this particular low.
*hugs*
I'll see what I can do though.