Things go from sugar to shit

[tiamatlady]

Do you remember
believing in Santa Claus?
the giddy feeling of "does he like me?" from high school?
It's that little part of you that always remains a silly child.

Tonight my inner child got a bitchslap.
Not only does Santa not exist, his corpse in on fire in front of you.
And the boy you like not only thinks you're disgusting but he's goin gto date your best friend, and she's dumped you like a hot potato.

Nothing actually happened. Noone was mean or rotten. I just realized that I don't stand a chance in hell with him. He actually showed up tonight, I can't believe I was right. And I stood there and listened to him speak, and knew for certain that I would never get past "friend". And that depresses me. I'd like to have something clean and pure, somehting meaningful, instead of the dark abyss I'm standing on.

I'm going to bed, and I don't want to get out of it, but hopefully I can to go to work tomorrow, and get my life back.

Comments

*Sigh*

[dancer.livejournal.com]

Then he's not worth it!

Are you going to coffee tonight? It would be nice to chat :)

Re: *Sigh*

[tiamatlady]

Well, I thought I made it clear, but I write in Hindu sometimes.
He didn't do anything but be his ever charming self. We even talked about getting together again in NYC next time I go (which I think will be pushed to Columbus Day weekend as he said he'd be here, I'm going to email him, plus Aimee will be busy the weekend of the 19th) I just had a, shall we say, moment of clarity. And I pretty much doubled over.
I won't be seeing him this week, he's home to be here for his father, who is in the beginning stages of chemo. No problem.
I doubt I'll be out for coffee tonight. But I dunno yet. There are other issues that are undealt with that will contribute to my mood. And I'm not sure I can deal in the adult manner I have to, not at this particular low.
*hugs*
I'll see what I can do though.

[dionysia.livejournal.com]

boys suck!

*hugs*

see my Dancer reply

[tiamatlady]

but it isn't his fault. I had a moment of clarity. he was his usual charming self. He really is just a doll.
And yes, boys DO suck, just not this one. There are a couple who don't, I know you know that. *lol*
Hopefully I can make it through work today. If I evern GET there.

Re: see my Dancer reply

[dionysia.livejournal.com]

trust me, if you had been talking about a girl, i would have written 'girls suck'... of course what i really mean is "love/crushes/human emotion sucks!" ;)

even though he didn't do anything, i know it still hurts...

luckily most of the ppl i have crushes on in recent years are friends i flirt with... so unlike h.s. and college!

di

Could be worse

[developer.livejournal.com]

A burning dead santa could be screwing the guy.

I was trying to work the best friend into that image, but it can't do it for some reason. Lucky for the best friend, too bad for santa