Right now

I don't feel so alone. I don't mean that to sound pathetic. usually I LIKE being alone, but I'm not in my soul.

Last weekend I was alone. Does that make sense?

Anyway, maybe it's me settling down with it, maybe it's J being here, but I'm not so upset. I knew it was a matter of time. However, undealt with, it's a sore. And it's probably going to fester. *shrugs* I have bigger fish to fry this week and next, but after that....who knows.

I'm thinking about stepping away from this thing. I got home about an hour ago and listened to teh Unit. Apparently my sister and FABF have ALSO bought a minivan. However this one has already broken down. Twice. With all the kids in the car. Including my fussy 2 month old niece. What a guy.

I'm going to sew up the rest of the holes in my corset, I've got ideas on an outfit for tomorrow. I have to work my tail off at BaOPF client tomorrow, to get a ton of work done in one day, or as much as I can.

Food for thought

my horoscopes for today, Wednesday, August 3.
One is daily, one is that rat bastard Rob:

Daily:
A new and exciting person could enter your life today, Tiamatlady, and you could find that you're both powerfully attracted to each other.
Um, yeah. Right. *rolls off to giggle uncontrollably in the corner*

You might spend enough time with this person to know that the two of you have a lot in common and that you enjoy each other's company. Whether or not you choose to pursue the attraction depends, of course, on your situation, but at any rate, you'll have some fun today.
I'll be the one over here, snickering. I'll be the first and last one shocked at this one if it comes to pass.

Rob:
In describing his creative process, novelist Jack Kerouac said, "The first thought is the best thought." When Allen Ginsberg was asked "What's the best advice you can give a poet?", he echoed Kerouac.
Hmmmmm, kay? Rob, drugs are bad, hmmmmkay?

On the other hand, Nobel Prize-winning writer William Butler Yeats constantly revised works he had already published, even fiddling with poems that were many years old. Pierre Bonnard was so committed to editing himself that "he was once caught trying to retouch one of his own paintings hanging on a museum wall," wrote poet Linh Dinh, who concluded, "Last thought is the best thought."
see point number one Rob.

While there are valid arguments for both views,
What?
Leo, the astrological omens say your best bet for now is to go the way of Kerouac and Ginsberg.
*rolls eyes* Go with my gut then? Well DUH! *wonders why I subscribe to these things.

Seriously, one is so far fetched it'll NEVER happen, the other is so obvious, it may as well be a fish smacked in my face. NO I DON'T KNOW what that means.

I should go to bed.

*stretch*

I'm declaring today "Free from Bullshit" day. Well at least for me, I'm not responsible for you.

I plan on the following:
- go to BaOPF client. It will not be BAOPF today, I have lots of work to do, especially since I won't be there til at least noon.
- Money for food, and out tonight
- Lunch
- finish repairs to corset
- dress
- head to MR
- hopefully dance, otherwise relax.
- Blessed sleep. Hopefully before 3AM this time.

Supposedly I have to go to CPA #1 tomorrow. Also, today I need to call a couple of clients, see if there's any work floating around. Although there's an idea I SHOULDN'T do this til next week, as next week is BAD schedule wise, what with the necessary down time on Friday, so I if call next week, I can schedule the week AFTER.

*sighs* I talk just to hear myself talk, yes?
Off to relook at Quickbooks, juggle some stuff, then decide how much money to withdraw. I need to be prepared to repay a debt tonight, which makes some stuff wait a bit longer.

Wow, am I very money/work centric right now!

*edit* *juggle juggle juggle*
Note to self - next week DEMAND check from BaOPF client. If we HAVE this, we have enough money to handle everything, including the dental thingy. All my other clients are faboo about paying me when I hand them a bill. Noooooo, this guy is very lax. I'm about to ask to be put on payroll, although it's not like he can get around to signing off on my timesheet. Is it any wonder I don't want to go in? And, I have to. Plus I think I have to blow off the CPA on Thursday. Feh.

Didn't I make

a sweeping statement earlier?
Well either someone isn't listening, or I should have kept my mouth shut.
By habit I take a good look at my contacts before they go in. I'm very near sighted so this also happens whether I want it to or not. I spotted a tear in my right contact this morning. I wasn't sure if it actually WAS or a teeny piece of thread, but popping it into my eye revealed why yes, it is a tear (for the non contacted - there is a difference in feel. For the contacted - yes I popped it in anyway to check. I had to, read on.) A quick check of my left, which hadn't been feeling "quite" right revealed a small nick on the side which I'd missed.

Out they both go. This isn't the major problem it USED to be with me, I now use the disposables, rather than the expensive kind I used to be prescribed. These are about $5 for the pair, a little less, and they've lasted far longer than they should have.

Why? I've been needing to see my eye doctor. But I didn't like the one I'd picked (for his closeness to my Cape office) I couldn't go at my year checkup time, I tried to go during tax season and he couldn't work around my schedule. (OK I was very inflexible too.)

I now have in my last pair of "good" and "not old" contacts. I have some others, but I see the curvature is different and only the pair I have in are NOT beyond some expiration date. These are "*MEEP* only to get me to the eye doctor!" pairs I have left.

So, on TOP of all this juggling, I NOW have to either schedule and get to the guy on the Cape, which I DON'T want to do, or get a new eye doctor.

Back I go to b0st0n and southofboston to ask about. I was thinking of just going to the doctor in BJ's but I've heard she's swamped.

if I were going to borrow money, it would be for this. I've got too many balls in the air, I can't handle this one too. Make sacrifices to whatever god wants it, to have my contact hold up til I can get new ones.

*twitch*

So, I get to BaOPF client.
The effing boss, who SWORE he would NOT be available this week - is IN HIS OFFICE. I am at this point, 3 hours later than my schedule says so. Meep. He left me pretty much alone, I had plenty of work to do. But he's a complete asshat. See he likes to do things on his schedule. But wants other stuff done also on his schedule. Sometimes these two versions of "his schedule" clash in violent ways. Like when I wanted to enter invoices. I couldn't since he had to roll forward a date. I asked, he said he hadn't, I moved on. He never TOLD me I when I could enter invoices, so now they're undone, and I BETCHA he asks "Did you enter invoices?" KNOWING full well that I'd asked and been told NOT to.

He also -
- told me to do bank recs. THEN expressly told me I couldn't til we "review my work so far." WHEN this is going to happen, I have NO Effing clue.
- Told me to print trial balances, did NOT tell me to print them out by month. Tells me "looking at the cash account is silly" when I'm WORKING ON the cash account. And finding errors. Also wants me to work BACKWARDS. Which makes no real sense.
- I brought him my invoice. He NOW tells me "Oh I wish you'd brought me this sooner, I don't remember when you're in!" THIS is the same thing he DIDN'T want to look at last week. At least NOW I have a clue where to put this thing - he DOES have an inbox. AND he's said on the last day I work in a week, to go ahead and put it in on my way out the door. FINALLY.

THEN:
I got home. To find WAY more humans and crap in here than necessary. Specifically, two children, one screaming infant, and teh Unit. She was bitching about "Did you call me?" and "I'm switching to Comcast!" over the screams of the baby. I ended up with a screaming baby in MY lap, and two children who ACTUALLY had the nerve to tell me to get them their dinner. I've noticed that in my family, the children get what they want, and screw anyone else. They both wants pils of mashed potatoes. (Teh Unit picked up KFC) but teh Unit said "Auntie has to have some first." They both looked at me and I said "I'm not hungry right now." The clamoring began again. I realized RIGHT THERE that I wasn't having any mashed potatoes. Typical. AND the KEY reason I'm not having kids - I like having MY money for MY toys and MY food and keeping what I buy for MYSELF. Selfish, childish, I know. But at LEAST I know, and I'm not going to HAVE a kid and figure it out then (*cough* my sister *cough cough*)

DO you believe she had the nerve to ask me if I was going out????She's freaking out about her new car and where to park it. I have some suggestions - none of which can be said around children.

I was so stressed from work, and the drive home almost killed me, literally, since the lady in the breakdown lane in the minivan decided I wasn't going NEARLY as fast as I was and pulled out so I had to SLAM on my brakes. I have NOT been able to relax, and want to leave earlish so I can sit in the car and chill out. And if I have to kill someone on the way, I'll be happy to!

*DEEP BREATH*

OK, off to get dressed, I swear My mood HAS to get better, it can't get any worse.

edit - why yes, yes it can. I probably would have stayed home tonight, but I'm going to be awake, I may as well go out now. *fume*