let me share a little story

and then tell me humans don't SUCK above all there is.

Tonight, before meeting friends for dinner, I took my FINALLY arrived check to the bank, to deposit, and get some cash. At the branch I went to, there is an enclosed ATM, which has room for maybe 3 people. In this situation, usually the bank has a message "One person in the ATM vestibule at a time." It's a security thing. Whenever I go to this bank, I wait outside, until the person inside is finished. And people do that for me, they wait outside til I finish.

Tonight, a guy walks up, sees me, opens the door with his card and pushes his way in. He looks me up and down, as I'm giving him the "What the FUCK?" look. Now, my purse, and wallet, are open on the little desk thingy beside me. I have just put my card in the ATM. I gather up my things, as he says "HEY, what're you doing THAT for? SHEESH, I'm not dangerous!" So, this STRANGER, some guy I'Ve NEVER seen before, is pissed at ME for taking precautions with my stuff, in a room about the size of two phone booths.

I finish my deposit, take out my money, get my ATM card. I turn around and say "Excuse me, but people usually WAIT outside when there's someone in here, forgive me for being a bit jumpy when someone decides to come in WHILE I'm using the ATM." He looks at me, sneers and says "WHORE!"

At this point I'm outside. I step up to the window, and say "HEY ASSHOLE! I AM A GREAT MANY THINGS I AM A BITCH, I AM A F**KING C**T*, BUT I AM _NOT_ A WHORE, AND I WOULDN'T TOUCH _YOU_ WITH A FLAMING TEN FOOT CATTLE PROD. YOU HAVE A NICE DAY, YOU STUPID F**KING ASS!" During this, he gives me the finger, twice.

I go back to my car, fuming, and see a BIG SUV with it's windows open. I unlock my car, drop my stuff and say, to the woman WAITING for this braintrust, "MA'AM, YOUR HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND JUST CALLED ME A WHORE BECAUSE I GOT NERVOUS WHEN HE ENTERED THE ATM. THAT'S SOME MAN YOU HAVE THERE. YOU BE SURE TO HAVE A NICE DAY!"

As I was leaving, an older man was waiting to use the ATM, STANDING OUTSIDE. And two other people, who had SEEN the whole exchange, hurried by without looking.

I'm pretty sure, Mr. Asshole said something to Older Man, and Mrs. Asshole, probably mumbled something about being embarrassed, and he bitchslapped her. I hope I ruined his whole asshole day.

THIS is why I HATE people, because even a little common sense or courtesy is BEYOND them. If I don't like you, I WILL IGNORE YOU, because common courtesy says I canNOT slap you silly in public. I go out of my way to at LEAST have some common decencies, like not being in someone's way while they're trying to look at something, to let someone use a public thing without harassing them, to make sure my place in line is fair. WHY IS IT that the NORMAL PEOPLE of society, and those who pride themselves on being better than others CANNOT DO THESE THINGS???

There's a line in the first Valdemar book by Mercedes Lackey that I'm thinking of - "You should treat even the lowest scullery maid like a princess, but YOU treat a princess like the lowest scullery maid!" I can't bring myself to be anything but NON-unpoilte to those I can't stand, honestly, I guarantee you've done something to piss me off, maybe it's torture one of my friends, or maybe it's sneer at me in your jealously that _I_ am doing something YOU cannot. But, if you're just some schmo on the street, I can NOT knock you over, I can wait my turn in line, I can give you at least the BASE minimum of civility (to coin a praise *evil grin* I'm not sure I like that word tho) and yet, I get NOTHING, NONE OF THAT in return.

I wonder where he figured out that "whore" is a good insult to use. maybe because any woman WILL be affected by it. I'll bet I scared the living SHIT out of him, not matter what he looked like in his casual giving of the finger. I'll bet he took it out on his girlfriend too. It makes me wonder at the arrogance of Man as a whole, and think that maybe someone or something SHOULD knock us off this planet for good.

Civilization my ass. Quite overrated I'd say. I'd rather it be lawlessness, so I'd be trained and able and ALLOWED to kill that guy for that.

*sigh*

It's my own fault, really.
I'd heard about Comcast crap, but we've been up a week, with no real problems not originating from my inabilities, or stupidity.

Tonight, when I get home from dinner, I turn on the TV, and it appears the cable's out (it IS raining, pretty well at this point.) I double check at the real cable box, yes it's out. It takes about 10 minutes, and absent poking at the computer to remember "Duh, CABLE modem, if the cable's out, so's the modem."

It took til after 1 for the cable to come back on. And it took til just now for me to reboot everything, in the correct order, for my computer to connect.

*sigh*
I wanted to upload pictures tonight. I wanted to clean, and I wanted other things, but none of them are to be. Hopefully, tomorrow will be more ME productive. I hate Saturdays, the unit is usually home for a good 5 hours and she bugs me INCESSANTLY. So I think I'm going to use Saturday as "Go out for the day with friends" day and Sunday as "Sit on my butt or do domestic things WITHOUT being bothered" day.

Still feel guilty. Actually felt guilty having had a good time out. How stupid is that? That I wasn't allowed to have a good time, because there was work undone. It's the remnants of the Catholic Guilt, I swear. How horrible, yes?

Tomorrow, I have work to do for the BRC, in prep for Tuesday's meeting, plus cleaning and laundry, and I'm hoping CB emails me for a nice outing. I will be going to be early tomorrow, although I don't know how tonight is going to go. I've been up til after 4 for a couple of nights.

I want to do Something

I've done nothing yet today.
I think a trip to Attleboro might be in order.
I want those DAMN mid calf boots, that WERE at Hot Topic in the Plaza, yet aren't now *pouts* so that's Hot Topic, and Torrid, and probably Fredericks for a new bra, IF they're still $29. The only problem - I really SHOULDN'T. but, I just put more money in the bank, so I should be all set. I SHOULD redo my finances before I go anywhere, but I'm afraid I won't go if I do them. I need something to wear, and I need to try these on.

How exciting. *grins* I'm just glad to be in a mood that's NOT depressed, or anxious, or pissed off. Still guilty, but it's fading.

I'm glad I followed my instincts last night and didn't let emilytbm talk me into harassing the CB. We had very tentative plans. and I'd heard nothing from him on the subject. This means something has come up. I got an email with a time stamp of 5AM, saying he'd been up since 6AM Saturday running around, working. Needless to say, I KNEW this, hence the lack of hassling. if I wouldn't make the perfect GF for him, I dunno what. *silly grin*

So - lesson learned for today - don't doubt the instincts, no matter how crazy they might sound. The gut is always right.

There is much filing in my future, I think. I look around my desk and see a bunch of paperwork needing doing. So, I'm off shopping, then back to sit at my desk to file MY stuff, do BRC stuff, and generally clean up. Then, I can get started on the rest of my little world during the week.

I need a Tarot card reading - anyone know anyone locally that I 1) don't already dislike (I'm looking at YOU kazama)2) that's available, and 3) is a professional, or a reasonable professional attitude. I need something more than Sally down the street.

Some random thoughts

- These stupid boots are near to IMPOSSIBLE to find. Torrid and Hot Topic had NOTHING that I wanted.
- The nice nice NICE people in the Attleboro Hot Topic. In fact, I've NEVER had anyone be less that super nice to me in ANY Hot Topic. Perhaps because I DO look corporate Goth pretty much every time I go into one, and that means Scene Wise and MONEY heavy. And the SUPER nice bald, pierced manager, who gave me a coupon for the online store, so I can order the boots there.
- Torrid is scary. It's mostly, right now anyway, raver clothes. Although they DID have a few things I adored - like the prom dresses. Imagine, long,sparkly gothy promy dresses. I would have KILLED for one of these dresses for my prom. And cheaper than my prom dress, although too expensive for me to consider buying one at the moment. Thinking about putting a sparkly black one on lay away tho.
- People can NOT drive. Honestly. Seriously.
- Children are rude and stupid.
- The clothes the mall rats wear these days are nasty. I wanted to look at one of the boys walking in as I was, and I say boy but he had to have been at least 20, and say "Do you know how ridiculous you look?" I may be getting old, but I don't understand what happened to wearing pants that FIT. I'm a firm believer in clothes that fit. That means that I very much would tell off a large Goth chick who was wearing a too tight shirt, or just a bra and not much else. I just don't get it.
- I'm listening to my first audio stream broadcast, I never thought about it all week, and I couldn't before Monday night anyway. It's the broadcast by theonebob found here. He's currently playing a remix of Beborn Beton and Cookie Monster. *snicker*

Eh. I have work to do, while listening to the radio.

Here we go again

Stupid Human Tricks, day TWO.

I went to Attleboro earlier. According to my last entry, posted at 7:04, I was home then. I think I got home about 6:30, in time t watch the end of the History Channel show on the Tsars, that I had to shut off last night while I was falling asleep. When I was driving to the house, I decided that rather than pull out into the back parking lot, I would go around the nearby block, to pull direct up in front of the house. I pulled up in front of a white van, with noone in front of me. I had the luxury of pulling way up, and backing up to the white van, so I'd be straight and pretty much on top of the curb.

Remember that.

I went out of the house about 9:30, to grab something to eat, and to then park in the back lot, as I wasn't going out again tonight. One of my neighbors has a TON of company, and they are parked one on top of the other. The ocndo owner is parked in back of me, and TWO cars are parked ahead of me. The cars are filling with people who are leaving.

Except for one who says to me - "Excuse me, but when you pulled up I noticed you were right on top of my car." I said "oh did you bump me?" she said "NO, YOU hit US. I just wanted you to know I noticed, and you should be more careful." I looked at her, confused, and said "When I got here, there was no one here but a white van." she said "You hit me and I have witnesses." NOW I'm pissed off and said "Lady, you don't HAVE witnesses, because I was already here when YOU hit ME! Maybe YOU should be more careful, or we'll have a problem." Her reply - "Well maybe YOUR problem is YOUR attitude!" My reply to that "Have a nice night you F**king Bitch."

I was LIVID, and the Unit, and this is HER problem, refused to let me confront the unit owner. Since the owner was parked BEHIND ME, there is NO WAY she could have missed my car being there. She also has the spot next to my mother's in the parking lot. This woman is in for an ear ache once I finally see her, and tell her how much her drunken friends SUCK. Oh, yeah, did I mention that they were all drunk? And driving. I was waiting for them to back into me again.

What burns me is my mother refusing to let me talk to the unit owner, whose party this beyatch got drunk at. She said I'd get everyone all hot and bothered, and I said "Good, let THEM call the police, so I can file a complaint. Since I'm the SOBER one, I think my word is a bit better than theirs." AND if I don't get satisfaction, you can bet your ass that I'll start taking it out on her. I think an apology from the drunken bitch MIGHT suffice. The problem is this bitch will get herself worked up, and you WATCH her find some of her Drunken "friends' to imagine they saw me hit her car, and she files some sort of claim. Since I wasn't allowed to deal with it WHEN it happened it's going to be up to me to deal with it AFTER the fact, when noone will believe me.

I've had it with being polite. If you piss me off, I'm going to slap you into the ground. Either verbally, or physically, if warranted. And I won't be all "*whine* everyone's against me" either. I take responsibility for my actions, and I'm starting to feel taken advantage of, that I WON'T react. next person that pushes me is in for a nasty surprise.