Maybe I was wrong

to defend humanity.
For a couple of weeks now I'd been pestering the remote "Gee, you shouldn't withdraw from your friends, from your life. That's silly, hang in there, it'll get better."
I'm getting the feeling that withdrawing is a good idea.
Nothing in particular. I just need some down time, some time for Me. Next weekend will be awesome. Laura is the only person I can spend time with whom I don't tire of, although I think she has crappy neediness timing. And Chris and his new gf, whose name I CAN'T spell so I'll call her the giggling one, will be engrossed in each other, so I can actually run off with D and do other stuff away from them.
I don't mean everyone. It's the feeling of being tired of the drama, of being entertaining, of NOT being taken seriously, of being told "You ALWAYS have an opinion" like it's a bad thing. I'm tired of the image of me, like it's a bad thing. I am extremely comfortable of whom I am. I worked DAMN hard to get here. And I'm not going to let anyone tell me that I'm somehow wrong for it. So, I think I need a break from being corrected, or chastised or whatever word you want to call it.
Maybe I should stop poking about in LJ. I've found the LJ's of people that I know of, but, for one reason or another do not wish to pursue any kind of relationship with. And I just think that I hear so much of what I don't like in myself in their posts, I don't want to be that way.
But I won't let anyone tell me how to live my life, and I can't allow anyone to dictate my behavior. And lately, I feel watched and judged. So I think I need to limit my activities until I don't feel that way anymore. And I need to get some work done too. NYC this week, nonTia functions the next weekend. I really like that idea. Hopefully some down time watching anime with Kazama, and possibly gawking at Mexican cuties with ElectricCat and Tink. I think that's plenty.
And May starts Tuesday, I need to start putting my energy into feeling good about me so that my little May fling will happen. OH and The Mummy Returns, I'm going to try and get D and I tickets for a late Thursday pre-opening. Or maybe we can go Sunday night, but I want to go before the weekend. Must-See-Brenden-Fraser-such-a-hottie! *sigh*
Nighty night .

Mood goes down, mood goes up

From Captain Charming, re: this weekend.

"hee hee! Gothic road trip to NYC -- this sounds like a cross between National Lampoon's Vacation and Dangerous Liasions. I can't wait to show you and Laura a bit of the city, and I think I know of just the possible dinner companion. He's a former Howard Stern intern who's now running for public office.

I must scoot off to a meeting, but let me know when you're coming into town, and what sort of cuisine you're after. One of the best restaurants I know is a Cuban one, featured in a Lenny Kravitz video, and has some of the best foods, etc. Cool crowd. Crowded as hell. But let me know what your preferences are.

This sounds like it will be great fun! "

*boing boing boing*

An evening with Constantine, Captain Charming. henceforth know as C, or CC, or possibly CCC. *grin* Although his friend sounds like he'll be more my speed than D's, but hey *shrug* we'll see.

OK, need to call Laura, see what see feels like for dinner, somehow I think Cuban food will be out, although I'm game. She's not into spicy. Plus we have a time constraint, and a clothing constraint. As in I'm not bringing much, and need to be able to make a quick change.

See I have these lists, mental lists.And rate the, shall we say, fuckability of certain boys. And He is SO at the top of several. Like "Nice plaything" to "Give up my freedom and date exclusively"

Perhaps more on the lists later. *evil grin*
(Homer)
Mood goes up.
Mood goes down.
(/H)