Stupid snow
Dec. 5th, 2002 11:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tiamatladyI totally can't believe the stupid snow, and how DUMB people are driving in it! I swear I was easily able to do 50 on the way home, with one or two exceptions where I felt like I was driving through a tunnel of white. But the dumb ass little cars who were too afraid to do more than 35, and then the GIANT trucks and SUV's that whaled by me doing at least 70 (If I was doing 50, and they flashed by me, that has to be fast, stupid asses)
Oh and I got to see a cab run off the road, not in the moment, after the fact. it was resting gently against a tree. I slowed down for a while after that. But the commute made me decide not to venture back out, not to taunt Ben, not for tea, nothing *sigh* Of course, all I want now, is an ice cream and I'm in my PJ's
Last night was phenomenal. Not being able to take my camera to the Cruxshadows always gives me a different perspective. For those of you that didn't see me last night I *blushes* brought flowers for them. I was at my wholesale florist client and thought "You know, that might be nice" so I put together some little things, so as not to alarm security, just something to say "Hey, you're very appreciated." I wanted to make sure I handed them to everyone, one at a time, and mission accomplished until the dancers didn't appear. I ended up approaching Rogue (Yes, I actually approached R, shut UP I hear you laughing) to give him his, and asked him to give the others to the ladies. He hugs me *squeal* and says "Come on downstairs, and give them to them yourself." SO I entered the "forbidden zone" of the dressing rooms, to give the flowers to Rachel and Jessica (boys, they were dressed get your minds out of the gutter) I hate hate HATE bugging them, I don't have any aspirations to be friends, or lust after any of them except Rogue, and even that is almost pure. I do NOT have naughty dreams about him, it's like liking Simon LeBon at age 10, what exactly would I do with a 30 year old Simon??? Anyway, I'm glad I got to do that, I don't think they get appreciated as people very much.
So It's during "Marilyn My bitterness" that all the old feelings come pouring back, about the whole fallout with Kendall, and how much that song just MEANS to me. Partly because I could feel every line, except for the one line about "Now I lie here in this empty bed..." it says everything to her/them that I just couldn't say, or wouldn't say, or didn't get a chance to say. Some wonder why I'm SO insistent in getting my own way, I feel like I've left behind me a pile of people who didn't appreciate me for the strong singular woman I am, they wanted something else, and found me lacking. And for the longest time, I let that bring me down. I'm not even really friends with the people who brought me out of that phase, things change, people change, and, except for Bret, things have gotten too much for some people.
So I used to dance my heart out, and let tears pour down my face when "Marilyn" first came out. She used to go, and she'd almost crawl under chairs and tables to not have to watch me go through this. To this day, I think that "Marilyn" and my reaction to it built part of the wall that stands between us still. I'm certain she was angry at me, for my "unacceptable" reaction. Again, part of my problem with the whole group of friends I left behind.
But, "Marilyn" and finding my own path got me through the following year, and, while I don't dance my heart out to it anymore, it still has a place. And last night, standing at the front of the stage, putting a crick in my next looking up up and UP at him, and having him occasionally look right at me and sing with me, almost like he knew what I was thinking and feeling (Yes, I know he didn't get over it) I ended up breaking on Ben later, just for a bit.
I wish she'd have walked in last night, and enjoyed the band, until they played "Marilyn," and then realize which song and band this is. *evil grin* I know, I'm mean and evil.
So today I have done nothing, not really at work, and not at home. I really should get some work together and put it to the web like I'm supposed to, but I have time scheduled on Saturday to work on this client, so I'm going to wait until then. Tomorrow night I have a fabulous night of laundry to think about. I think I may actually COOK something, I'll stop at the grocery store on the way home, and get quarters, and something to cook. Of course, since I suck at this, I'll probably buy Ramen and tuna *grins* Who wants to cook me dinner? *LOL* I really need to do laundry, I don't feel like going out, and maybe I'll get a jump on that work. I'm thinking about getting a haircut on Saturday, my hair is in the "Fly all over the place" phase. Plus I want to dye it red. So maybe I'll brave KMart first, or WalMart. My true love, Tar-jay is out of reach, either way I'd want to go is an hour in the wrong direction *sighs*
Oh did I mention I need to start using my PalmPilot, I really have too much to do, and I need to schedule my time better.
Holy crap - Patrick Stewart is in Excalibur? will wonders never cease!
I'm thinking I may take a vacation by myself after tax season. I don't mean London, or somewhere I want to go and do the touristy thing, but somewhere else, where I can sit and watch movies and TV, and read, and maybe surf the Net, but be truly out of contact with everyone for a week or so. Like a cottage down the Cape, or in Oregon, or, hell maybe Scotland, or Ireland. Something on a cliff or a beach. Where I couldn't do ANYTHNG but sit on my ass. I should look into that. I did a lot in London, and loved it, and I love going to NYC and doing, but I think I need a "not do" week. Like my "vacation from a vacation"
Of course, if I can talk CB into going with me and us doing nothing but watching movies, and making out, and having sex? I may be tired and crazy, but I'm NOT stupid! *evil grin* I have naughty thoughts about him, not about Rogue. Really.
I can't even tell you what the flowers were, they were blue/purple and white things, with a carnation. Rogue's had a rose in it *blushes* I'm SUCH a dork. I should have just given it to Jessica, I'm sure that's where it ended up.
One of these days, you're gonna realize,
Just who you've thrown away....... *sigh*
Oh and I got to see a cab run off the road, not in the moment, after the fact. it was resting gently against a tree. I slowed down for a while after that. But the commute made me decide not to venture back out, not to taunt Ben, not for tea, nothing *sigh* Of course, all I want now, is an ice cream and I'm in my PJ's
Last night was phenomenal. Not being able to take my camera to the Cruxshadows always gives me a different perspective. For those of you that didn't see me last night I *blushes* brought flowers for them. I was at my wholesale florist client and thought "You know, that might be nice" so I put together some little things, so as not to alarm security, just something to say "Hey, you're very appreciated." I wanted to make sure I handed them to everyone, one at a time, and mission accomplished until the dancers didn't appear. I ended up approaching Rogue (Yes, I actually approached R, shut UP I hear you laughing) to give him his, and asked him to give the others to the ladies. He hugs me *squeal* and says "Come on downstairs, and give them to them yourself." SO I entered the "forbidden zone" of the dressing rooms, to give the flowers to Rachel and Jessica (boys, they were dressed get your minds out of the gutter) I hate hate HATE bugging them, I don't have any aspirations to be friends, or lust after any of them except Rogue, and even that is almost pure. I do NOT have naughty dreams about him, it's like liking Simon LeBon at age 10, what exactly would I do with a 30 year old Simon??? Anyway, I'm glad I got to do that, I don't think they get appreciated as people very much.
So It's during "Marilyn My bitterness" that all the old feelings come pouring back, about the whole fallout with Kendall, and how much that song just MEANS to me. Partly because I could feel every line, except for the one line about "Now I lie here in this empty bed..." it says everything to her/them that I just couldn't say, or wouldn't say, or didn't get a chance to say. Some wonder why I'm SO insistent in getting my own way, I feel like I've left behind me a pile of people who didn't appreciate me for the strong singular woman I am, they wanted something else, and found me lacking. And for the longest time, I let that bring me down. I'm not even really friends with the people who brought me out of that phase, things change, people change, and, except for Bret, things have gotten too much for some people.
So I used to dance my heart out, and let tears pour down my face when "Marilyn" first came out. She used to go, and she'd almost crawl under chairs and tables to not have to watch me go through this. To this day, I think that "Marilyn" and my reaction to it built part of the wall that stands between us still. I'm certain she was angry at me, for my "unacceptable" reaction. Again, part of my problem with the whole group of friends I left behind.
But, "Marilyn" and finding my own path got me through the following year, and, while I don't dance my heart out to it anymore, it still has a place. And last night, standing at the front of the stage, putting a crick in my next looking up up and UP at him, and having him occasionally look right at me and sing with me, almost like he knew what I was thinking and feeling (Yes, I know he didn't get over it) I ended up breaking on Ben later, just for a bit.
I wish she'd have walked in last night, and enjoyed the band, until they played "Marilyn," and then realize which song and band this is. *evil grin* I know, I'm mean and evil.
So today I have done nothing, not really at work, and not at home. I really should get some work together and put it to the web like I'm supposed to, but I have time scheduled on Saturday to work on this client, so I'm going to wait until then. Tomorrow night I have a fabulous night of laundry to think about. I think I may actually COOK something, I'll stop at the grocery store on the way home, and get quarters, and something to cook. Of course, since I suck at this, I'll probably buy Ramen and tuna *grins* Who wants to cook me dinner? *LOL* I really need to do laundry, I don't feel like going out, and maybe I'll get a jump on that work. I'm thinking about getting a haircut on Saturday, my hair is in the "Fly all over the place" phase. Plus I want to dye it red. So maybe I'll brave KMart first, or WalMart. My true love, Tar-jay is out of reach, either way I'd want to go is an hour in the wrong direction *sighs*
Oh did I mention I need to start using my PalmPilot, I really have too much to do, and I need to schedule my time better.
Holy crap - Patrick Stewart is in Excalibur? will wonders never cease!
I'm thinking I may take a vacation by myself after tax season. I don't mean London, or somewhere I want to go and do the touristy thing, but somewhere else, where I can sit and watch movies and TV, and read, and maybe surf the Net, but be truly out of contact with everyone for a week or so. Like a cottage down the Cape, or in Oregon, or, hell maybe Scotland, or Ireland. Something on a cliff or a beach. Where I couldn't do ANYTHNG but sit on my ass. I should look into that. I did a lot in London, and loved it, and I love going to NYC and doing, but I think I need a "not do" week. Like my "vacation from a vacation"
Of course, if I can talk CB into going with me and us doing nothing but watching movies, and making out, and having sex? I may be tired and crazy, but I'm NOT stupid! *evil grin* I have naughty thoughts about him, not about Rogue. Really.
I can't even tell you what the flowers were, they were blue/purple and white things, with a carnation. Rogue's had a rose in it *blushes* I'm SUCH a dork. I should have just given it to Jessica, I'm sure that's where it ended up.
One of these days, you're gonna realize,
Just who you've thrown away....... *sigh*
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no subject
Date: 2002-12-06 03:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-12-06 07:00 am (UTC)You feeling better?
Next time they come around, you'll be old enough to get into one or two of the venues, and I'll take you, I promise, even if it's CT, or NY. I wish I had the time and money and energy to go to Albany tonight. *sigh*
no subject
Date: 2002-12-06 12:43 pm (UTC)