A plot is afoot Watson
Oct. 3rd, 2002 01:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tiamatladyOnce I get a bee in my bonnet, I'm dangerous.
Some highlights:
- I'm playing hookey one of my clients. I'm going to go in, check on things, make sure there are no questions (drop off an invoice *evil grin*) and then come home. I've been running full tilt, I need a stop. (Yes I went to MR last night, but I got home from work in time to change, and hustle back out. I have priorities you know)
- Tomorrow I AM going to get up early, go into town, get my birth certificate, and passport in one fell swoop. Part of what I'm going to tonight is get my picture taken. I should have enough money to cover the passport, and the picture.
- Last night was much unload on CoatBoy. I dunno, everything he says is circumspect. I tried to explain it to him - I think he's either hiding something or lying to me, so everything he says I doubt. I think he actually heard me. He wants to be friends, yet makes no effort, and I got that through to him too. THEN I saw him outside, and I see the fatigue rising up from him, like steam, and the dark circle under his eyes and he says "I almost fucked up at work BAD so I went home and tinkered with my motorcycle, something I know I can't screw up." I looked at him at said "You need to decompress. You should come out and play with me more often, and you work too much." I never saw this part of him before, and I feel super guilty thinking he's just sitting on his ass, laughing that I'm sitting around. He calls it "super OC" Obsessive Compulsive. I said is this a problem? He said No, I've dealt with it before. And people wonder why I'm pursuing him.
- I found out that I intimated Ben for the longest time and I have "a personality like the Death Star." And that he might feel smothered by me. I said to that "Yes, because you need to find BEN, before you can stand up to me." His answer - "People won't let me be me, I'm self destructive, and misogynistic, and selfish." I said everything was fine except the the self destructive part. I need him to NOT want to destroy himself, or he'll take me with him. I told him CB is 5 years older, and has walked through his own personal fire, and that he, like me, is comfortable in his skin. Ben doesn't seem done. He's going to leave, it's been coming. He's just going to go, and I think I'm going to take him out to dinner and send him away. I never wanted him to leave ME, but it's not permanent, I can see that on the other side of CB. CB is far more suited to my needs, and my psyche. even if I don't get CB, I need someone like him. Calm, and perceptive, without getting angry at me for my leaps into weirdness, but exciting and full of energy. Ben has a way to go, without interference to extend his potential. Away from the tree jokes *fumes*
- Picture this- Spud. Dressed in CB's coat. BUT, not a Spud sized CB coat, CB'S coat. He'll look like a wittle boy dressed up in daddy's clothes.
Not afraid of a rabid Tia, are we? Wait til I get Photoshop.
- I can't wait to buy that ticket
- I need to get some GMAT books to take on the plane. I want that too.
Okdokey, time to pee, and then of to the client then off to geta picture, then back home to get some peekchures up and put the non selling jewelry to Ebay.
Some highlights:
- I'm playing hookey one of my clients. I'm going to go in, check on things, make sure there are no questions (drop off an invoice *evil grin*) and then come home. I've been running full tilt, I need a stop. (Yes I went to MR last night, but I got home from work in time to change, and hustle back out. I have priorities you know)
- Tomorrow I AM going to get up early, go into town, get my birth certificate, and passport in one fell swoop. Part of what I'm going to tonight is get my picture taken. I should have enough money to cover the passport, and the picture.
- Last night was much unload on CoatBoy. I dunno, everything he says is circumspect. I tried to explain it to him - I think he's either hiding something or lying to me, so everything he says I doubt. I think he actually heard me. He wants to be friends, yet makes no effort, and I got that through to him too. THEN I saw him outside, and I see the fatigue rising up from him, like steam, and the dark circle under his eyes and he says "I almost fucked up at work BAD so I went home and tinkered with my motorcycle, something I know I can't screw up." I looked at him at said "You need to decompress. You should come out and play with me more often, and you work too much." I never saw this part of him before, and I feel super guilty thinking he's just sitting on his ass, laughing that I'm sitting around. He calls it "super OC" Obsessive Compulsive. I said is this a problem? He said No, I've dealt with it before. And people wonder why I'm pursuing him.
- I found out that I intimated Ben for the longest time and I have "a personality like the Death Star." And that he might feel smothered by me. I said to that "Yes, because you need to find BEN, before you can stand up to me." His answer - "People won't let me be me, I'm self destructive, and misogynistic, and selfish." I said everything was fine except the the self destructive part. I need him to NOT want to destroy himself, or he'll take me with him. I told him CB is 5 years older, and has walked through his own personal fire, and that he, like me, is comfortable in his skin. Ben doesn't seem done. He's going to leave, it's been coming. He's just going to go, and I think I'm going to take him out to dinner and send him away. I never wanted him to leave ME, but it's not permanent, I can see that on the other side of CB. CB is far more suited to my needs, and my psyche. even if I don't get CB, I need someone like him. Calm, and perceptive, without getting angry at me for my leaps into weirdness, but exciting and full of energy. Ben has a way to go, without interference to extend his potential. Away from the tree jokes *fumes*
- Picture this- Spud. Dressed in CB's coat. BUT, not a Spud sized CB coat, CB'S coat. He'll look like a wittle boy dressed up in daddy's clothes.
Not afraid of a rabid Tia, are we? Wait til I get Photoshop.
- I can't wait to buy that ticket
- I need to get some GMAT books to take on the plane. I want that too.
Okdokey, time to pee, and then of to the client then off to geta picture, then back home to get some peekchures up and put the non selling jewelry to Ebay.
