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tiamatladySomewhere, somehow, I've got a much better perspective on things.
I needed to be alone, and I haven't had that all weekend.
I think this is the last weekend M stays with me. I can't deal with having that around me. all the time. It makes me angry. It makes me angry at every lost opportunity, and at everyone involved, and I'm tired of wasting energy.
- For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
elvendoll I really wanted to make brunch, but I know I was better off staying home. Thanks for the offer, and I'll try very hard next time to make it.
- Forkazama I'm sorry I snapped, but I really feel like I had no validation. Had I been allowed to get out what I wanted to say, my offer of support, things would probably be different. As soon as I calm down a bit more, maybe I can listen better, once you're ready to talk.
- For CoatBoy, even tho he doesn't read this (I hope) I can't fathom why things aren't going my way, but the last thing I'm going to do is take this out on you. I need to let you have your space, and you're going to get it, and I'm hoping you won't like it at all.
- formaudlinkitty Thanks. I love your ears, they know when to listen, exactly when to listen. *hugs*
- there's more, but do I really want to spend my energy dealing with them? Nope. I enjoy other people's pain, that's the thing I LOVE about LJ, I can observe what some put out, and laugh when those I dislike suffer. I can't help it, I'm human and petty, and shallow. But I admit it. And I think that is one of my best qualities - my willingness to BE human. Maybe I don't like showing it, and lord knows some people DO need their attitudes taken down a notch or two. But, underneath, I'm just as human as even the nastiest of creatures in the Goth scene these days. But I will not hide, and I won't stop being or feeling. And if you ever ask me "Do you think you're better than me?" then the answer is - Yes. Yes I do. *grins* And, I am. Thanks for asking. Now go over there and be quiet, and stop annoying me. *lol*
I think I'm going to go draft an email to CB. Or maybe page him. I need to see if I can deal with him. And I'm going to buy my ticket to London.
I needed to be alone, and I haven't had that all weekend.
I think this is the last weekend M stays with me. I can't deal with having that around me. all the time. It makes me angry. It makes me angry at every lost opportunity, and at everyone involved, and I'm tired of wasting energy.
- For
elvendoll I really wanted to make brunch, but I know I was better off staying home. Thanks for the offer, and I'll try very hard next time to make it.- For
kazama I'm sorry I snapped, but I really feel like I had no validation. Had I been allowed to get out what I wanted to say, my offer of support, things would probably be different. As soon as I calm down a bit more, maybe I can listen better, once you're ready to talk.- For CoatBoy, even tho he doesn't read this (I hope) I can't fathom why things aren't going my way, but the last thing I'm going to do is take this out on you. I need to let you have your space, and you're going to get it, and I'm hoping you won't like it at all.
- for
maudlinkitty Thanks. I love your ears, they know when to listen, exactly when to listen. *hugs*- there's more, but do I really want to spend my energy dealing with them? Nope. I enjoy other people's pain, that's the thing I LOVE about LJ, I can observe what some put out, and laugh when those I dislike suffer. I can't help it, I'm human and petty, and shallow. But I admit it. And I think that is one of my best qualities - my willingness to BE human. Maybe I don't like showing it, and lord knows some people DO need their attitudes taken down a notch or two. But, underneath, I'm just as human as even the nastiest of creatures in the Goth scene these days. But I will not hide, and I won't stop being or feeling. And if you ever ask me "Do you think you're better than me?" then the answer is - Yes. Yes I do. *grins* And, I am. Thanks for asking. Now go over there and be quiet, and stop annoying me. *lol*
I think I'm going to go draft an email to CB. Or maybe page him. I need to see if I can deal with him. And I'm going to buy my ticket to London.
