Didn't my horoscope say
Oct. 18th, 2004 03:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tiamatladybe careful of lines of communication?
Many little irritations causing me to be a bit snappish and off mood (plus it's Monday) got me "talked to" earlier about my "inappropriate" tone.
Funny how inappropriate I get when I'm badgered. About something Very Not Important.
Seriously, this is more for a private post at some point, but I was just tired, things aren't going right today, the little things I mean, and now this. And I don't think it's me, as usual. At one point last week I doubted my choice of self employment. I mean it would be smarter for me to get a "real" job. THEN I have days like today. Imagine NOT being able to get away from the petty stuff, with my attitude. This is why I failed in my other jobs, my inability to let things go, OR other's inability to do the same.
And you know, I notice that when _I_ speak in that tone, I'm wrong, but when OTHERS speak to me that way, they're not. And that my forward, forthright behaviour fails under the whiney, passive agressive stance of most. I say "this is the problem." and I get "you're being mean" but if I covered it in double speak and corporate retoric It's ALMOST acceptable. but no matter what, I'm the one in the wrong. Can i REALLY be the wrong one all the time? I'm learning to pick and choose my battles, but I can't believe that not wanting to waste my (and your) time hashing, rehashing and REREhashing something that happened for 5 minutes LAST WEEK is a good idea. And my unwillingness to do so is a "major problem."
Bah. THIS is why I'm self employed people. I don't "own" anything, and when I share offices I'm aware that it's not mine. I'm already curbing a BUNCH of my usual habits so as not to disturb, but I notice noone else does that for me.
yeah I know what I sound like. I'm really not that bad. I am the outsider, and I LIKE it that way. I don't HAVE to take sides or sit with the cool kids at lunch. I come in, do my work, and LEAVE, to be backbiting and katty with my friends, and naughty with my lovers. When I do it in the office, they can't handle it (unless I worked at say ManRay or Hubbas. Then I'd be the tame one.)
I'm REALLY looking forward to this weekend. I NEED to not work for a while. A good long while but let's home the weekend will do for now.
Many little irritations causing me to be a bit snappish and off mood (plus it's Monday) got me "talked to" earlier about my "inappropriate" tone.
Funny how inappropriate I get when I'm badgered. About something Very Not Important.
Seriously, this is more for a private post at some point, but I was just tired, things aren't going right today, the little things I mean, and now this. And I don't think it's me, as usual. At one point last week I doubted my choice of self employment. I mean it would be smarter for me to get a "real" job. THEN I have days like today. Imagine NOT being able to get away from the petty stuff, with my attitude. This is why I failed in my other jobs, my inability to let things go, OR other's inability to do the same.
And you know, I notice that when _I_ speak in that tone, I'm wrong, but when OTHERS speak to me that way, they're not. And that my forward, forthright behaviour fails under the whiney, passive agressive stance of most. I say "this is the problem." and I get "you're being mean" but if I covered it in double speak and corporate retoric It's ALMOST acceptable. but no matter what, I'm the one in the wrong. Can i REALLY be the wrong one all the time? I'm learning to pick and choose my battles, but I can't believe that not wanting to waste my (and your) time hashing, rehashing and REREhashing something that happened for 5 minutes LAST WEEK is a good idea. And my unwillingness to do so is a "major problem."
Bah. THIS is why I'm self employed people. I don't "own" anything, and when I share offices I'm aware that it's not mine. I'm already curbing a BUNCH of my usual habits so as not to disturb, but I notice noone else does that for me.
yeah I know what I sound like. I'm really not that bad. I am the outsider, and I LIKE it that way. I don't HAVE to take sides or sit with the cool kids at lunch. I come in, do my work, and LEAVE, to be backbiting and katty with my friends, and naughty with my lovers. When I do it in the office, they can't handle it (unless I worked at say ManRay or Hubbas. Then I'd be the tame one.)
I'm REALLY looking forward to this weekend. I NEED to not work for a while. A good long while but let's home the weekend will do for now.
