Today has been not much of anything
Jun. 9th, 2004 02:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tiamatladyI ended up feeding my niece and sitting with her asleep, after my mother practically beat a burp out of her. I don't understand that, but *shrugs* I don't get much regarding babies.
Except that I don't want any.
Seriously, I felt NOTHING sitting there with a baby in my lap. No "gee I'd like to have one." I think my maternal instinct is broken *grins* No really, not that I don't know enough to not let anything happen to her, but I don't want one. I get urges to hold babies, then my arm gets sore, or they start to smell and/or cry, and it's all "Give it back." The clock isn't ringing, and I'm not feeling any empty feelings. I like taking care of myself, I feel no need to carry on the "line" as it were. I think there's at least one of us in a generation, that is just Not Interested.
Don't get me wrong. I'm actually OK with kids, I can babysit, I can hold and coo at them. But then I'm cool with giving em back. I figure if I ever feel the need to hold one, I can find someone WITH one, hold it, and then give it back. So feel free to ask me to babysit, I so will. Then I will go get drunk *evil grin*
I'm hungry but don't feel like getting dressed. I might have to order something delivered. I wish I hadn't eaten my whole pizza last night. I dunno what to do - I don't want to order from the same place I've been, They must think I'm a cow with no ability to cook (ok, they are correct *evil grin* but I don't need to be putting their kids through college either.)
Anyway, off to graze, more later I hope. ManRay tonight, I think the short dress with my boots, and I dunno what over my arms. I'll think about it. I'm thinking something black or grey - I'm probably going with a silver eyeshadow to match my fingers. I'm considering redoing the nails tho, if I have any of those french manicure strips left. Maybe I'll wear the purple and black skirt I got in London, my purple corset if I can get my sweaty ass into it, and my long sleeved lace top. I'm planning a nice outfit for noone to see me in it. *snicker*
Except that I don't want any.
Seriously, I felt NOTHING sitting there with a baby in my lap. No "gee I'd like to have one." I think my maternal instinct is broken *grins* No really, not that I don't know enough to not let anything happen to her, but I don't want one. I get urges to hold babies, then my arm gets sore, or they start to smell and/or cry, and it's all "Give it back." The clock isn't ringing, and I'm not feeling any empty feelings. I like taking care of myself, I feel no need to carry on the "line" as it were. I think there's at least one of us in a generation, that is just Not Interested.
Don't get me wrong. I'm actually OK with kids, I can babysit, I can hold and coo at them. But then I'm cool with giving em back. I figure if I ever feel the need to hold one, I can find someone WITH one, hold it, and then give it back. So feel free to ask me to babysit, I so will. Then I will go get drunk *evil grin*
I'm hungry but don't feel like getting dressed. I might have to order something delivered. I wish I hadn't eaten my whole pizza last night. I dunno what to do - I don't want to order from the same place I've been, They must think I'm a cow with no ability to cook (ok, they are correct *evil grin* but I don't need to be putting their kids through college either.)
Anyway, off to graze, more later I hope. ManRay tonight, I think the short dress with my boots, and I dunno what over my arms. I'll think about it. I'm thinking something black or grey - I'm probably going with a silver eyeshadow to match my fingers. I'm considering redoing the nails tho, if I have any of those french manicure strips left. Maybe I'll wear the purple and black skirt I got in London, my purple corset if I can get my sweaty ass into it, and my long sleeved lace top. I'm planning a nice outfit for noone to see me in it. *snicker*
