Dear gods

A prime example of WHY I feel way out of control -

Me: "I'm going to go home tonight and dri...."
*interrupts*
Her: "Why do you think YOU'RE going home now? _I'm_ the one who has been here since 10AM!"
Me: "*sighs* I didn't say I was going right now, I was saying I'm going to go home and drink my dinner, so I can forget about all these numbers running loose in my head."
Her: "how different is that from normal? I mean, you can't remember a damn thing about these numbers anyway, WHY do you think you need help?"

It's not that I'm stressed.
It's that when I say "I can't do this, I'm stressed" I get "Oh YEAH? You think you know stress?"

My feeling are invalidated.

I think that's why I'm ready to cry nine time out of ten. NOT becuase of the weight of the load, but of the people, who might or might not have it worse, pointing and laughing, and/or telling me what a wuss I am for not being able to bear it. (obviously, this is metaphorical. I don't think everyone around me is pointing and laughing.)

I think she needs me, then I remember how much I DREAD this client, and think of it as torture, and how I spent the day with her trying to pull numbers out of my brain that just aren't fucking there.

My other favorite
Me: "I SWEAR We already looked at this."
Her: "OBVIOUSLY not *points to error* I'll accept your apology anytime now."

Now to call the idiot who never listens to me, and somehow THINKS he called me earlier, and tell him I'm NOT doing his taxes tonight. I might actualy have to put off another meeting Monday, since I haven't had time to do jack or shit about their stuff, but I might try to take it to the office with me tomorrow.

When I am Queen

I think I'm going to do this every so often, to let my subject know what to expect when I am made Queen, or Empress, or Dictatress for Life, whichever I decide sounds niftiess.

When I Am Queen:

- Anyone who says "Why are you working on a Saturday/Sunday/Weekend/Evening?!?!" during tax season shall be taken outside, and shot like a rabid dog. No matter how much your Monarch loves you, You Will Be Shot.

More later.
(Can you tell I'm tired of that phrase yet?

It's too quiet in here - my mind is going a mile a minute. I'm sure there will be more nonsequitors as the quiet gets to me.

for the love of...

I'm Still In The Office.
it's 10 of 10PM by my clock.
I have an hour's ride home, and have already been visited by one creepy security guard.
I'm tired, I have a headache, I'm hungry.
I desperately want coffee, and don't think the DD near here is open this late.
If the stupid tax software won't work I'm screwed. That's what's taken so freaking long - a reinstall of the software. Before it LOST SIGHT of the mirrored drive! i mean good GOD can't we just have ONE frigging network drive, WhY the hell did he have to mirror the damn drive?????

*sighs*

I'm an accountant Jim, not a computer tech. And I fear that this isn't going to work either.

But I've had quite enough, once this dl is finished, I'm freaking gone. I'm approaching 9 hours here, some of which is complete waste. I have to work tomorrow and thanks to being here so late I seriously doubt getting up early will be an option.

Damn damn damn.