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*broodage*
Feb. 19th, 2002 01:58 amwww.colorgenics.com
You have always longed for tenderness, love and a sensitivity of feeling into which you would like to blend. You are a very gentle warm person and responsive to "All things bright and beautiful". This personifies a caring person... A person who "needs" and indeed "needs to be needed".
You don't really give in. You follow your beliefs and ideals to the bitter end. You are the personification of stubbornness and whatever may transpire, right or wrong, you refuse to compromise or make concessions.
Your confidence has been shattered... There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled, and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination... they are real, and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavor...but in order to develop your "inner- self" you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals.. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.
You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all ... The existing situation is not of your liking. You have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others ... and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of "total surrender". This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome; You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able can you maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence "you need to be needed" ... and at the same time... .."you need to need".
You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from a close and harmonious relationship.
This is because I'm tired.
This is because I'm pissed off.
I was SO right. Selfish and immature. What are the people I surround myself for $500, Alex? OK not everyone. I'm brooding about one certain equation. I know it's not over. I know I need to either close the book, or reopen the door. And I know that some think I'm catering to the unworthy. I am, I guess. I put so much of myself into a relationship, that when it fires into my face, it's a shock, and it's upsetting.
*sigh*
I can't think about this now. I'm far too tired from work, and too stressed. I'm just gonna wrap myself around a 21 year old, and see what happens, and maybe next Sunday I can schedule some time to think about what to do. It's moments like this that I make mistakes, when I'm quick to anger, and don't have enough resources to deal.
In other news, Bunicula and Dancer rawk my little world.
And everyone should go see Crossroads, of COURSEI saw it, opening night with Bret. It was very different from what I expected. She dances in her underwear. And those are some NICE tits! *grin*
And I have spiffy new shoes.
*sigh* Off to watch some more Cardcaptor Sakura, thanks Dancer!, and to NOT think about the last time I watched it. *sigh*
You have always longed for tenderness, love and a sensitivity of feeling into which you would like to blend. You are a very gentle warm person and responsive to "All things bright and beautiful". This personifies a caring person... A person who "needs" and indeed "needs to be needed".
You don't really give in. You follow your beliefs and ideals to the bitter end. You are the personification of stubbornness and whatever may transpire, right or wrong, you refuse to compromise or make concessions.
Your confidence has been shattered... There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled, and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination... they are real, and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavor...but in order to develop your "inner- self" you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals.. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.
You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all ... The existing situation is not of your liking. You have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others ... and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of "total surrender". This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome; You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able can you maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence "you need to be needed" ... and at the same time... .."you need to need".
You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from a close and harmonious relationship.
This is because I'm tired.
This is because I'm pissed off.
I was SO right. Selfish and immature. What are the people I surround myself for $500, Alex? OK not everyone. I'm brooding about one certain equation. I know it's not over. I know I need to either close the book, or reopen the door. And I know that some think I'm catering to the unworthy. I am, I guess. I put so much of myself into a relationship, that when it fires into my face, it's a shock, and it's upsetting.
*sigh*
I can't think about this now. I'm far too tired from work, and too stressed. I'm just gonna wrap myself around a 21 year old, and see what happens, and maybe next Sunday I can schedule some time to think about what to do. It's moments like this that I make mistakes, when I'm quick to anger, and don't have enough resources to deal.
In other news, Bunicula and Dancer rawk my little world.
And everyone should go see Crossroads, of COURSEI saw it, opening night with Bret. It was very different from what I expected. She dances in her underwear. And those are some NICE tits! *grin*
And I have spiffy new shoes.
*sigh* Off to watch some more Cardcaptor Sakura, thanks Dancer!, and to NOT think about the last time I watched it. *sigh*
