So I was naughty again last night

in the only way open to me. *grumble*(I swear, there are going to be some UNHAPPY campers when they decide "Hey I'm going to go spend time with Tia, and find me OUT and unwilling to talk to them. Rebuff me when I need you, I remember it.)

So I got out of work at a reasonable hour, and wanted to see people and didn't all at once. I ended up coming in to figure out how much that trip to Target hurt *grins* it's nice to be able to spend money as I please. Then I went to DSW for shoes. although I don't really know WHY I ever bother. I never find anything "stylish" there, most everything isn't right for my fat feet. I have NO PROBLEM with them, but when I want sandals or strappy little heels, I need a particular style and they never have anything like that. The ones I think are cute, give me foot cleavage *silly grin* Which was a shame last night, since I loved this one pair, but they fit just badly above my toes. I found another pair of sandals that fit, but the heel was super narrow, and I'm not breaking my ankle at the wedding for the sake of cute little shoes.

I ended up finding a pair of Doc Air Wares, which ended up being $40 after the discount and the coupon I had. I need something for any more snow that comes along, and something tough to wear walking around, that isn't my Torrid boots. (Which I need another pair of for when these wear out) I found a neat pair of to the knee suede boots, but they didn't fit quite right over my calves, and they were too expensive for me to buy and cut up. Maybe if they get marked down some more.

So then I went to Newbury Comics. Bought a couple of Escaflowne DVDs used to flesh out my collection, and found the Harlock Saga. Once I get time to watch it we'll see if it's complete. It wasn't too expensive. I ended up buying myself South Park season 3, as it was WAY on sale, and way cheaper than anywhere else. I can't wait til after the season and I start selling things to pay for my DVD habit. I won't feel too bad about buying them if I don't use MY money, but the money from getting rid of my clutter.

I almost got stepped on while I was crouched down looking at DVDs and looked up and realized it was my LONG ago former friend Brian. We had issues over some money I borrowed from him (Which I returned forth with, after he went on a bender. It was for my car, and during my "Whoa I fucked up!" stage) he's one of (read the main) reason I don't like borrowing money, or even asking for people to get me something without having a plan to pay for it. He just LOST it, and not that I blame him, be he was a SUPER EXTRA asshole about the whole thing, and decided I was "too much" hassle to deal with. *shrugs* I don't blame him for that, I do blame him for being a pussy, since he REALLY wasn't tough enough to stick out the bad times. Anyway, I can't get over how FADED he was. He used to have vibrant red hair, and a slick little body. His hair is faded and the body he took pride in has gone to paunch. He doesn't look - well like he has LIFE in him, you know? Not that he's dead, just that he's not really alive. Like washed out. After this past year, I REALLY should be very careful to inject some life into things. I might be tired, but I need to be happy.

So I'm happy I saw him, since it reminds me to get out and live, and I'm happy he dumped me on my ass, since that kind of friend is an energy drain without anything in return. *shudder* Very happy I have a few less people around, some of them were real downers, and just pissy that I had a life that didn't include them. Now I have to do some pruning, or at least fire some warning shots, saying "Look don't have a life, that's OK, DON'T be mad at me for having one."

Of course, I say this like I have one. I have to get to the office, which is probably why I'm sitting here typing *grins* I hate working on Sundays, but it can't be helped, especially since my Cape boss is being so demanding. I'm supposed to remarriage my schedule again, and work on a Wednesday again. I hate not working locally since I have to rush home, rush to get ready and rush out if I go, just to have to deal with newbies and kiddies in my seat since I didn't get there early thanks to working on the Cape.

I WILL take back my life, after the responsibility of tax season is over. I'm not going to become old before my time and faded.

Hmmm, coffee and lunch and work I like waits. I'll be back later.

*grins*

You know, I love it when I disagree with someone, or have opinions I have no problem sharing, especially when they disagree with someone else, and I'm told it's because I'm
1) old
2) bitter
3) fat
4) a sheep (because you know, it's because I do what I'm told, by the "In-Crowd" that I have my thoughts. they're not mine)

For the most part I keep a lot of things to myself, my journal is boring because I use it as a place for me to rant about everyday things, that are important to me.

I hate what's happening to the Goth scene in Boston. There, I've said it. The patrons are getting younger, but I'm getting older, so I figure that's my problem, that I don't play the same games I used to. I don't like watching the kiddies come in, act like they own the place, make asses of themselves, and basically not accept consequences. But, I'm willing to admit in this respect I AM old and crotchety. I like things the way they are. Change is enevitable, but I don't have to like it.

I don't do their drugs, I don't like their wild parties, I don't think a good weekend has me waking up, lord only knows where, with people I don't know at noon, after a bender of wild proportions, wondering what I did last night. So I don't understand a lot of people. Does it mean I don't like some of them - of course not. I just don't usually hang out, it's my hangup, and I don't expect anyone to make allowances for me. (Except one or two people, whom should know better. You know who you are *grins*)

I don't have the right to say "You shouldn't do *this or that*" But neither do you. However I don't have to "approve" or "like it," same as you. And if I get bent enough to say something, sometimes, well perhaps that's still my problem.

But assuming it's because I'm "jealous" or "Bitter"? That's just - funny. As in telling this story later and giggling about it, funny.

I LOVE the "You're a sheep" story. I STILL laugh my ass off every time I think about it.

So basically, it's boiling down to I have an opinion, someone doesn't like it. hijinks ensue *grins* Same story next week I'm sure.
Such a troublemaker *grins*

PPPS - I know I'm probably blowing stuff out of proportion - hey, it's what I do well *grins* But to me, this is serious, and I feel - I dunno, dissed. I feel better I said something, but I obviously don't want to cause drama for my friends. *sighs* Sometimes I wish I had no concept of right and wrong and could just SAY what I mean, instead of having to bite my tongue all the time. ON the flip side of that, it IS just my opinion. i don't think I should STOP someone doing something stupid or annoying, but neither should I have to tolerate it for myself.
*shrugs* it's an enigma.

Goth dammit

Every freaking TIME I work here, I get a huge paper cut like I'm trying to kill myself. I swear. This time it's in the join of my pinky finger/hand and it actually cut off skin!

And this place is just strange. Like my boss shut off most of the lights when he left (unlike me, he's a morning person, so he was outta here at 4:30.) I had to turn them on, I'm sorry but this place has too many strange noises for me to sit here in the almost dark.

And then there's the stupid downstairs storage. Down the MOST rickety spiral staircase I've EVER seen. I'm afraid it's just going to plunge into the dark. AND man is it dark, until I get there and turn on the lights. Then I have to dig through WAY too many file cabinets to find everything I need, since the secretary knows where everything is and doesn't feel the need to label the drawers. IN the drawers the files are so many and so tight, I have to dig amongst them for my work. Hence the paper cuts.

And my evil tooth is REALLY acting up. Like it needs to be pulled or blocked off again. My dentists wil be pissed I Haven't had it pulled yet, but the surgery he wants for me costs 2 grand and I don't have it yet. (Three wisdoms and a molar, with the beginnings of a post for an implant. Personally, I just want the damn thing out and for it to stop hurting. Asshat.) Of course, this is the EXACT time I can't deal with it. Nice. Very very nice.

I'm going to give in and take an Aleve. I wasn't going to but after hauling three huge files up the rickety stairs, the increased blood flow has caused the tooth to start throbbing. It took TWO pills yeasterday to shut it up, and as soon as I got diner (Hmmm, Chicken Katsu) it started again. But I have too much work, and I'd like to get it all accomplished and go home. *sighs**looks around* not like that's happening any time soon.

(no subject)

I wish I could show you guys what I just did.
I mean, it's only accounting processes. I just pretty much copied last year's format. But I took a pile of papers, put it all together, verified balances, organized the whole thing and put it into a succient, understandable format that anyone can just pick up and understand and work with, along with questions about missing items, and pointing out things that need further attention.

It sounds silly. But I get it, I can do anything in any part of the process, and my boss now just has to review my work and know that the books for the client are correct.

It's weird feeling like a competent grownup. Like people rely on what I do and what I say and I'm RIGHT about it.

Freaky. *grins* Now, all I have to do is start hanging out with people who treat me like a grownup and I might become one! Although to give this boss props, he seems to understand right where I am and what I'm capable of, and won't let me go beneath that expectation, without making me feel all freaky about it.

Which is why I'm goign to stick around and get done what he needs done, instead of leaving now. *sighs* I probably have about 2 more hours of work, if I'm lucky. (It could be more) One of them is a return for someone who is long dead.

*pouts* I'm hungry and my tooth still aches. And the water tastes crappy here. Mental note to stop at Walgreens for ice cream and water, along with dinner at Wendy's (Chicken tonight I think!)